"What's So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress?" by Ruth Padawer is an article I think everyone should read when trying to understand the nature of gender. There has been much talk of gender-fluidity and it immediately brings certain beliefs and images into people's minds without the understanding of what it all means.

“People rely on gender to help understand the world to make order out of chaos… It’s been a way of measuring someone’s well being. 'Are you adjusted? Do you fit? Are you unhinged?’” This statement made by Jean Malpas, head of the Gender and Family Project at the Ackerman Institute in Manhattan, to me, is probably one of the more significant reasons why people have issues with those who violate and cross gender barriers. This was one of the points I made regarding the Caster Semenya, the Olympic runner from South Africa who faced public scandal when she was deemed so masculine by her opponents (because of jealousy) that she had to undergo gender testing. We use gender to view and understand the world, interacting with people in a distinctive manner based on whether they are male or female. When we cannot limit someone to one gender over the other, based off of stereotypes of gender, we become literally disoriented as to how to interact with a person. This is not only with people, but with all kinds of experiences.

Boys crossing genders and adopting female characteristics, behavior, dress, etc. says something very interesting in a male-dominated society, says Diane Ehrensaft, a psychologist a the University of California. “When a boy wants to act like a girl, it subconsciously shakes our foundation, because why would someone want to be the lesser gender?." This idea does have some truth to it, not to say that the female body of humanity is literally "the lesser gender." In context, men are given certain advantages that women are not given, such as more pay when working and the ability to be power-driven without being looked down upon. However, the opposite is also true—women are allowed to do and be things that men cannot do and be without facing some kind social stigma. Women can be acceptably “flamboyant” (this is also a gender stereotype), emotional, soft, and into themselves and their physical appearance. For men, to be like this is to be considered less of a man, weak, and dare I say it, “gay," and being gay has been considered the ultimate kiss of death to a man’s ability to be masculine and powerful in the past. However, what this article by Padawer addresses is that it is entirely possible that to be feminine is the natural expression of a person’s identity regardless of physical gender. To be feminine may not mean a boy or man is gay or weak or some other biased classification; it is simply who they are as an individual. The effeminate child P.J., highlighted in the article, put it so eloquently when asked, “Why do you want to be a boy and not a girl?” P.J. responded, “Because I want to be who I am!”

Children cannot be limited to being one thing and not the other in contemporary times. They are exposed to so much at an early age, and that allows them to see more experiences of life than previous generations. They also seem to be more conscious of themselves and of who they are and what they want, which is different than previous generations, who needed to be told who they are and how to be. On a societal level, peoples’ personalities are starting to become much more multi-faceted. It is in such a way that people move far beyond gender and achieve great things. You have men who are becoming much more creative, relationship-oriented, and “Mr. Moms” and women who are power-driven, assertive, and physical-oriented, which is slowly changing the face of society because we understand that there is a “middle space” between male and female.

While it doesn’t necessarily mean a child is gay or transgender, it is also the space where many gay, lesbian, and transgender people live, which again, is beyond societal gender distinctions. This goes beyond the father who “didn’t know how to be the father of a girl inside a boy’s body," but perhaps into the realm of great actors, actresses, and mimics who can portray the emotions of both men and women effortlessly and show us all a lesson about ourselves.