Manipulative people. They exist. I would even say just about everyone has encountered one at some point in time. For those who think they have never dealt with a manipulative person, I would venture to guess you are either currently in a toxic relationship with a manipulative person unknowingly, or you are the manipulative person (let’s hope that's not the case).
Most people do not realize they are in a toxic relationship, being controlled & manipulated. Google “how to spot manipulation” and dozens of articles pop-up. They give specific examples to watch for in people.
Basically, manipulative people use the victim card, appear to be open, vulnerable, wanting help and more than willing to tell you all about their hardship(s). They draw in well-meaning people with a sob story that just might be true, and once they have the person “locked in," they trap them in with an ever-ongoing game of “being friends.” In reality, it is a prison with a rotating cycle of unstable emotions used to make the well-meaning person feel needed, guilty, shamed, appreciated – repeat.
Perhaps you are currently in a toxic relationship and want out, or you think you might be in one and are not sure. Maybe you who are always “the one person” who sees the true colors of others, you are always able to pin-point the deception of manipulators, and you warn others, but are often not believed when you "blow the whistle" - whoever you are, this is for you. You are not alone.
Honesty is important. Without it, we are trapped in someone else's game – blind, oblivious and robbed of a joy-filled life.
It’s time for good-hearted, caring people to stop being taken advantage of and mistreated by toxic people. The way we can start combating this all-too-common occurrence is by being honest with ourselves, our relationships, our habits and each other.
Manipulative people are controlling, they are dramatic, self-serving masters of deception, lying, and more times than not, dare I say it – borderline evil. They have serious issues on the inside and need help, but not from you or me. The truth is, you and I are not responsible for "helping" the one(s) who hurt, control and manipulate us. They need help from professionals who will not be deceived nor fall into the traps and games manipulators throw out.
If you are a friend to someone who is (or might be) a manipulator, and feel responsible for that person, I want to say to you:
You have a good and caring heart, but that person is not your responsibility. Be released from any feeling you have to be the one who helps that person. You deserve life-giving relationships, not toxic chains of manipulation. It's okay to end a toxic relationship and walk away, never looking back. There is an entire world of people, possibility and potential around you! Embark on a new chapter, free from manipulative, toxic, and controlling relationships. Go enjoy your life.
To all of those who have come out of these toxic relationships, and those who easily spot manipulators:
I celebrate with you. The freedom and healing we have found should not be kept a secret. Keep on being honest “whistle blowers”. Be kind to those who are still stuck in toxic relationships. We are all together in this journey of life, freedom, and joy. Be encouraged and enjoy healthy, life-giving relationships.
"Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is brave even if you stumble a little on your way out the door." – HealthyPlaces.com
