Have you ever gotten in a really bad fight with a sibling or a friend? You yell at each other. You go back and forth trying to reach a conclusion or a compromise. By the end of the argument, you feel so emotionally drained that all you want to do is just lie down for a little while. That’s what living with anxiety is like, except it’s not some one else that you’re battling; it’s your own mind.
Coming into college, I knew that I was a bit of a perfectionist and certainly prone to stress. I figured that was to be expected from my intense love for learning and rigorous work ethic. But by the time sophomore year crept up, my stress seemed to be destroying my life. I worried about every single thing. Should I wear short sleeves or long sleeves? What should I eat for breakfast? Where do I want to study? Do my friends secretly hate me? Does every one else in the room know how awkward I feel?
It felt like every single tiny choice I made throughout the day had become such a monumental decision. My mind wouldn’t shut off. It felt as if my brain was fighting against me. Regardless of how many times I would tell myself I was being irrational or that I was overthinking situations completely, my brain wouldn’t silence itself. Have you been in the heart of an overly populated city? The noises all around you seep into your brain, making it impossible to think. It’s exhausting, but you know you’ll be able to reach quiet at some point.
Living with anxiety is like living in a big city. There is constant noise in your head, thinking about every single “what-if?” scenario, worrying about what could go wrong, worsening situations and reading far too deeply into the most simplistic of things.
But the worst is when you try to talk to someone about something that makes you anxious and the person responds with, “Stop worrying so much.” I can tell you right now that if you have someone in your life who struggles with anxiety, this is one of the worst things you can say to them. Yes, it would be great if we could shut our minds off, if we could just let go of the constant slew of worries running through our minds. I can promise you that there is nothing in the world we would like more than to just “stop.”
The truth is, it isn’t just a simple on/off switch. We can’t just leave our anxiety at the door, as much as we’d want to. Learning to take control of anxiety takes time and a lot of strength. Be patient with the people in your life that have anxiety. They are doing the best that they can while working on making their best even better. But don’t make it unnecessarily hard on them. Don’t ignore them, don’t leave them in suspense, and most importantly, don’t make them feel crazy because they worry.
