Having a long distance relationship garners its own peculiar set of difficulties. In years past, hopeless lovers have written letters. Today’s modern technology allows for greater flexibility. With Skype, couples can hear each other’s voices and see each other’s faces. A quick glance at the phone bill proves how valuable communication is to the populace. The tools available today provides options hardly conceived in the age of our grandparents.
And yet, why is it that long distance relationships are still so difficult to maintain, even in the most perfect of circumstances? Granted, with new technology comes new problems. Perhaps text messages and phone calls have damaged our ability to maintain a physical relationship. Emojis and memes can only convey one’s true emotions to a certain extent. FaceTiming is nice, but when face to face with your significant other after a while apart, sometimes the spark might be hard to find.
So how do you make it work?
After a little over a year with my fiancé two states away, I’ve come up with some core tips to prevent relationship implosion.
1. Touch base
Even in the strongest of relationships, you are still your own person. This fact can be achingly apparent during long months of distance. It is important to make sure that you’re on the same page as your partner every once and awhile. Make the effort to connect to your partner, and ensure that you’re both operating within the same mindset.
2. Always have a back-up plan
It’s not what it sounds like! No, don’t have a second girlfriend/boyfriend waiting in the wings.
Plan Skype dates and phone calls, but be flexible. Life is changeable. Sometimes you or your girlfriend/boyfriend might have a last minute paper due that they forgot about, or be called into work with no warning. Life happens, but it is still important to reserve time unique for just the two of you.
3. Communicate
When miles apart, it is important to be lenient when clarifying even the simplest of thoughts. One wrongly read text message can evolve into one very large blow out. Whether it be your goals and interests, or even just about your day, be sure to clearly communicate your thoughts.
The greatest, and perhaps most reliable tip that I have come to rely on needs very little explaining:
4. Don’t give up.
Sometimes it will be hard. You’ll watch your friends in normal relationships make Steak 'n Shake runs in the middle of the night. They can cuddle and watch "Finding Nemo" while sharing the same bowl of popcorn. They can meet up for dinner without having to order in and Skype. Watching couples around you can be difficult. Sometimes the pressures and jealousy might get to you, and you might find yourself wondering why that can’t be you.
The time will pass regardless. The circumstances of today are not for a lifetime. If you can grow in love together despite the obstacles presented to you both, you will both be stronger for it together.
