I had planned to have a great day at the beach with my best friend. We brought some snacks and her dog, and we had just begun to set ourselves up at our chosen spot on the sand.
When we saw you and the woman we assumed to be your wife walking over to us, we didn’t imagine there would be any problems in our interaction. After all, why would we? You both seemed to be perfectly friendly and pleasant when you approached us and asked about the dog. In all actuality, you most likely had the best of intentions, at least that is what we’d like I think.
However, things took a dark turn when you took out your expensive Nikon camera, aimed it at me sitting in my bikini on my beach towel and began taking pictures. You saw me freeze; the smile quickly evaporated from my face and was replaced with confusion and a feeling of intense violation. You didn’t say a word, and even after my friend and I turned our backs to you in obvious discomfort you continued to stand there and snap photos.
In the immediate aftershock, we didn’t really know how to react. We chose to carry on with our day at the beach and it wasn’t until we were on the way home that the reality of your actions sunk in. At first, we were angry with ourselves. Why hadn’t we asked what your intentions were? Why didn’t we demand you delete the pictures on the spot? If our photos ended up in the wrong hands, then it was potentially our fault for not doing anything about it. In a way, this is true. If I could go back, then I would most definitely have stood up for my own safety, personal space and self-respect. My pictures would not be floating around on a strange man’s camera as I write this.
However, you are the one whose actions are most concerning. I should not have to be upset with myself for not asking for my revealing pictures to be deleted off of someone’s camera. The pictures should not have been taken in the first place. You saw two unsuspecting, vastly younger women on the beach and took advantage of them. You assumed it was perfectly OK for you to take pictures of us without asking. If you had asked, then the answer would have been no.
We did not go to the beach that day for your own personal amusement. We did not wear our bikinis to fulfill whatever image you had in your mind that you wanted to capture permanently on film. In the day and age we live in, in which anything can be posted online at the touch of a button, some may argue that having our picture taken is the same thing as posting a picture in our bathing suits on Instagram. I am here to tell you it is entirely different.
My body is mine. If I choose to post a picture of myself online, then that is my decision; it is with my consent to do so. My body is not yours to randomly snap pictures of for your own amusement. People wonder why rape culture is prevalent in our society, yet the fact that a couple thinks they can go to the beach and take pictures of whoever they want without their consent shows exactly the foundation these crimes are committed upon.
To the man I met at the beach last weekend, please learn respect. Please learn that women are not here for you. If we want to model for pictures, then we will do so on our own time. It is our choice, and it will never be yours. Women’s bodies are not here for your pictures, and they never will be.
Sincerely,
The Girl On Your Camera Roll
