Many might not realize this, but "finding yourself' is so vague. As we grow older, we change, things happen, we meet new people and experience life in a whole different way than we did 5 years ago. Finding yourself often means learning who you are: what you like, what you dislike and everything that makes you, you. It's a difficult task to achieve. To accept and love every part of who you are isn't easy. But while it might be tough, it is the most enlightening experience.

Everyone has their own way of finding themselves. Many surround themselves with family and friends, others feel they need to go on a solo journey for a while. Everybody is different. I had thought many times that I had found myself, only to reveal that I hadn't quite hit that mark in my life yet.

Then I met you.

This may sound cheesy, but it's true. Now don't get hot-headed over there, you're not the only one who took part in this discovery, but you play a very significant role.

Accepting who you are often involves looking at past events. Which is often why it can take so long for many to find themselves. We often are hiding from our past, even more than we hide from the possibilities of our future. I was struggling with this for so many years. I had moments where I had come to ease with these past events, but I never fully accepted that they were apart of who I was. I was scared to, I thought that nobody would be able to accept me for both who I am today and who I once was before.

You came along like the wind. I wasn't expecting it. The walls I had built were made of concrete, very few have been able to make their way through those locked doors. Yet, you did it so effortlessly. You never pushed, you never forced anything out of me or guilt tripped me into telling you anything. The words overflowed out of my mouth like word vomit, all at once. Before I knew it tears were streaming down my face and I realized I did it. I said everything I had been needing to say. About what had happened, how I felt. I said everything that I needed to, to a person who wasn't there to experience any of it with me.

That was what I needed.

With arms wide open you not only accepted that past, but embraced it. You showed me that, it was who I am. I finally understand what my mother has been telling me for so many years (thanks mom)! You had me bring back all of the parts of myself. The parts I was scared of, the parts that I didn't generally like, but most importantly, you brought back the parts of myself that I once loved so much.

I can know live a life without fear of judgment. The term, "if you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" was brought to a whole other level. If someone can't appreciate all of me, they don't deserve any of me.

Thank you, for reminding me of who I once was. Like I said, you didn't do all of it. My family and friends have been here for the journey for the long run. Keeping me going with every day that I had wanted to quit. You, you gave me that extra little push I needed to cross the finish line.