Have you ever had the opportunity to play with Nerf guns? If the answer is no, my ten-year-old self will have to take a minute to mourn for your loss. Nerf guns were a big part of my life. I vividly remember when I had the chance to get my hands on the gun with the “laser sight.” This laser sight was essentially just a reddish flashlight stuck into the gun to make it bulkier. It did not do much except make me feel like I was in some covert branch of an elite task force; I freaking loved it. Ten-year-old me was so into these plastic dart shooters, that if I ever found myself at the store with my family, I would always find an excuse to wander down the Nerf aisle and see what was new. I will never forget the day that I took this journey down the world’s most wonderful aisle and made a discovery. Right smack dab in the middle of the packages of red, blue, and orange was a tiny explosion of hot pink plastic. For a second, I thought someone at the store had mistakenly stocked the Barbies in the wrong section. Then I read the label:
The Nerf Gun for Girls!
This thing was decked out with flowers and even a couple of lipstick stains. It was everything a girl could want. It was finally a Nerf gun that the female species could get behind. What an incredible step forward for human evolution!
Even as a ten-year-old, I knew this Nerf Gun for Girls thing was a load of crap.
Gender roles is a term for how we as a society have made barriers between people and actions based solely on whether they are male or female. They are the reason that a girl would never be able to fire a Nerf gun unless of course, it came with a free charm bracelet. There has been much conversation about the ways that these gender roles can negatively affect and inhibit women. This is a very important topic to consider, but I would like to take a crack at the other side of things.
I have noticed an epidemic, especially within the population of young men. It goes deeper than simply having access to different toys then girls do. It can be seen in the kid who is told to man up and stop crying. It can be seen in the kid who has his “man card” revoked because he wants to dance instead of play a sport. We have been trained to believe that words should not have the power to hurt us, but the fact is these phrases and jokes about manliness come from an attitude that is detrimental to the development of young men everywhere.
I grew up believing my emotions made me weak and talking about them would make me less of a man. I have seen this in groups of young people today. Girls have been raised to be kind and nurturing, and, while they do not always care for each other well, they are at least encouraged to be open with each other. In a usual teenaged atmosphere, it is okay for girls to cry in front of each other. They can share their thoughts and struggles with each other. In groups of boys, this is something that is much more difficult, because we have been trained for so long to push it all down.
Enough is enough. It is time to move on from the old ways. Strength does not mean a lack of emotion. Courage does not mean a lack of fear. Being a man (much like being a human in general) is about living out the identity given to us by God. Never once are we called to look down on ourselves for simply being human. Young men should not have to live in a world where everything they feel is comical. We have gone on too long without a chance to feel. I went seven years without crying, forcing my emotions away. It all led to a year of crying more than I thought possible and drowning in emotions that I never learned how to deal with.
Take away my man card if you want to. I think it has caused me more trouble than it is worth.
