Dear male teachers who wrote my report card,

You don't know this, but I have anxiety and depression. Thus, it makes it hard for me to talk in class. But many girls in our class don't have that problem. And I see them smiling and talking, and I'm jealous. Maybe they don't need to talk when you are talking, but that's okay. At least they're happy.

I never say a word. Because I don't like to speak. It's not that I think I should remain silent, more that I am simply a quiet person who doesn't like to put herself out there and risk being wrong in a class full of my peers. It's scary, and quite frankly, there are a million things I'd rather do to show I know the answer than to say it out loud.

But if that's the case, why did you put "student is polite and courteous" on my report card?

At first I brushed it off. It didn't matter. It was just a compliment. But a strange one. How can someone be polite if they never say a word? Polite is engaging, not being afraid to talk and show the answer. I never engage in class. Ever.

It got me curious. I asked some chatty girls in the class, the happy ones, if they got the same remarks on their report cards. They said no.

They rarely talk during class when they're not supposed to, believe it or not. They just enjoy laughing, having fun, enjoying life and being happy. Talking with their friends and simply being louder than some who are dead silent like me. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

And I asked some quiet people, too. They were labeled as I was.

I act the same way in my female teachers' classes. I don't get the "polite and courteous" label there. I get: "student works diligently," "student has high test grades" or "student has improved greatly." Or even the occasional "student needs better grades." Okay, I get that last one in your classes, too...

Male teachers, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you aren't trying to tell me a girl is only polite when she's quiet and tries to stay out of notice. You're probably just grateful I'm not a rude high school student who's giving you a headache when all you want is a paycheck. (Don't feel bad, I can't blame you for that.) You probably aren't trying to send that bad message. But you sure seem to like it when we are quiet, no matter when.

But whatever the case, I'm not polite and courteous.

I'm dead silent and scared and sad.

There's a difference. A big one. And it's one I think you need to start understanding. For everyone's benefit.

From,

A student who is not polite and courteous