“I am a feminist.” This statement passed through my lips often in my youth, often being met with confusion and derision. The misconception that only women can be feminists is one held by both males and females. I have found that men who discount this statement do so out of ignorance, while women who do so often are trying to shield themselves from insecurity. After all, in the modern world women are still a painfully oppressed demographic. Women who have claimed the title of feminist in a militant manner hold it close to their egos and use it to construct themselves with an antagonistic mindset. I do not wish to state that all women of the feminist movement are like this, nor even the majority. However, for a man to claim this title sits uneasily with many female feminists, and almost challenges their understanding of the very essence of the movement. I can hardly blame those who feel this way, after all I am a member of the patriarchal construct. It seems painfully ironic, or even defamatory, for a man to identify as such.

I chose to write this article in the hopes of dispelling this unfortunate viewpoint. Moreover, I hope to show that it has a detrimental effect on the movement as a whole. Merriam-Webster defines feminism in two ways. 1. the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. 2. organized activity in support of women’s rights and interests. Nowhere in these definitions does it claim that an individual must identify their gender in any way to validly hold the values of feminism. In addition, the title of feminist merely refers to one who employs feministic values as a prominent belief.

At its core, feminism promotes individual rights for marginalized people. For instance, one cannot claim to be a feminist if their actions reflect a desire to raise the social status of only white women. Feminism aims to dismantle the patriarchal construct set by religious, cultural and historical precedent in all facets of society. All people are harmed by the male-dominated society, not just women. The social-concept of machismo in Latin America demonstrates this. This idea demands that men demonstrate an insatiable sexual appetite in a discrete way. This falls under a “don’t ask don’t tell” grey area, wherein men are able to engage in extramarital affairs to bolster their social standing while the wives of such men are expected to ignore and enable this behavior. Many men in these cultures will satisfy their appetite through the use of brothels, sex-workers, and anonymous intercourse facilitated by online dating sites/apps. Not only does this further subjugate women as sexual objects, an emotional concern, it also exposes both men and women to various sexually transmitted infections. In Latin American countries, it is not uncommon for men to hire prostitutes or to engage in intercourse with homosexual men. Both of these groups are high-risk for transmitting HIV/AIDS in this geographical region.

The current states of gender roles in the United States are a result of the post-World War II mindset that accompanied the Cold War during the 1950s. In an attempt to establish a cohesive American Identity to combat the Communist threat, individuals were forced to conform to strict roles in society or risk being labeled as anti-American. At this time, schoolchildren were taught in such a way that the majority of scholastic effort was expended on boys rather than girls. The reasoning was as such: these boys must be prepared for an inevitable war and knowledge of science, mathematics and engineering would provide them with the means to produce weapons and other infrastructure to defend the United States. Although under the guise of a single curriculum, boys and girls were subject to different educational goals and prospect. For instance, the purpose of higher education seem to be to further one's education and therefore status. This was simply not true for women. I remember my grandmother describing her college career, clearly stating that she decided to go to better her chances at finding at husband. For some, the sole reason to attend college was to find a suitable man, or to expose herself to men who would wish to claim her. I corroborated this anecdote with many women of her age, as well as women who attended college in the latter part of the 20^th century. The idea that college is to better men and to provide a means for women to marry carries over to this day. Fortunately, the focus of college in this country has shifted from militaristic goals to one of personal fulfillment, and moreso allows women to take advantage of this opportunity than in the past. For women to hold this role in society only bolsters the position of power and comfort that men enjoy.

A variety of psychological implications are a result of these beliefs. For instance, upon expressing themselves women are often disregarded as behaving irrationally. Phrases such as “She must be on her period” “Wow, what man pissed her off?” “She has daddy issues” are used to invalidate the legitimacy of their emotions. This causes great insecurity for many women, leading them down a path of self-hatred and self-mutilation. Perhaps those who harm themselves do so in an attempt to feel something that does not have to be validated by anyone else. The pain of scars, burns, and other maladies are inherently validated through the sensation they provide. In High School, I witnessed an abject amount of young girls struggling with self-harm and when I raised this concern to my friends (mostly men), they often disregarded it as a cry for attention rather than as a symptom of an unbalanced society. On the opposite hand, the oppression of men’s emotions leaves many men in a state of emotional stagnation. Being a man who has never had difficulty expressing his emotions, the stark contrast between those who can and those who cannot was painfully clear. My friends could never discuss the deeper thoughts and feelings that they had, a behavior which I lamented to witness. It did not surprise me to learn that higher rates of suicide in men have been linked to their discomfort in expressing themselves, a phenomena strictly related to the gender roles imposed upon them.

I was lucky to be raised in a home where gender roles were essentially non-existent. My mother shattered the glass ceiling and assumed executive positions in her career. She provided enough for our family that my father was able to stay home to raise my sisters and me. My father cooked, baked bread, cleaned the house and dealt with the daily responsibilities of raising children. When my three cousins came to live with us, this did not change. My father continued to raise his three children, and the children of his sister-in-law as if they were his own. Despite our family’s unorthodox structure, there stood no doubt of my father’s masculinity, nor of his ability as a caregiver. We never lived under delusions; however, we were all painfully aware of the world around us and of the inequality that women faced. I take the experience of my family as proof that the gender construct we live in is a lie propagated for the sole purpose of maintaining the status quo.

At the age of 15, I began to volunteer with Planned Parenthood as a Peer Educator through a program called Teen View. Here, I learned not only knowledge of Sex-ed, but also how to interact with people of all genders and ethnicities. As part of the group, we were trained and prompted on gender sensitivity as well as the history and projection of the feminist movement in this country. My experience here instilled me with a firm belief that all people are the same at their core, and that sex, gender, orientation and ethnicity are unique lenses by which the world is perceived.

Now, I wish to write a small amount about the concept of being transgender. Being Transgender, a phrase which simply means that one’s gender does not match their biological sex, is a polarizing topic. It is not recent. For as long as gender roles have existed, transgender people have as well. I find it completely irresponsible and arrogant to impose such strict gender roles on people only to recoil in disgust when they are flaunted. There is no biological science that substantiates these roles. In fact, what it means to be a woman or man has nothing to do with birth, but rather how an individual views themselves as well as how society treats them. Gender is not a choice, and I do not wish to express that. It is a concept, a set of rules rather, on how your body dictates your social interaction with others.

For a person to invalidate the identity of another is to invalidate any sense of individualism they themselves hold. In the context of feminism, this practice is destructive and undermines the very concepts that feminism wishes to uphold. The legitimacy of feminism becomes dubious when these practices are commonplace. I am a feminist. I do not stand by, nor behind, nor ahead. I stand with all, and I fight with all. For all.