Being in love has to be one of the best feelings in the world. Constantly having someone to converse with about the little things that interest you, to share special moments and holidays with, to be a shoulder to cry on, and to do just about anything for you, is beyond perfect. You have all of this, and more, in one single person.
Many say “love hurts”. That’s one of the most popular phrases uttered from a person who has recently had a relationship end. However, that’s not entirely true. Being in love (in a healthy relationship) is one of the best things you could ever experience. Falling out of love is the thing that really hurts. The moment when the connection between you and your significant other starts fade and becomes almost nonexistent usually feels like daggers in your heart. When you’re going off on a tangent about something you’re genuinely interested in or excited about and your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t have that look of interest in their eyes anymore, you feel like a nuisance. You start to feel as if you’re taken for granted, that you’re not interesting anymore, and that you don’t meet their standards. You ponder questions like: “Did I change?” “Am I not good enough?” “Why don’t they feel the same for me anymore?”
When the relationship ends its usually different from all the other ones you’ve had before. You know, the “in between” relationships. This grand relationship that just ended, or that has been over for a while now, surpassed all of the others. This was a heartbreaker. Whether it be with your first love, or the one you thought would be your last, it crushed you to the point where you didn’t feel like it was ever going to get better. The lonely days and even lonelier nights tend to eat at you. Negativity creeps in your life and leads you down a very sad road.
I’m here to say that I’ve been there. I’m still there, honestly. I occasionally wonder why the guy who I thought I’d end up with chose to move on in his life without me. I think about all of the things I gave up, the experiences I missed out on, and the amount of time I spent caring about someone who, in the end, left me to fend for myself. Those are the negatives. When those negatives come sneaking into your mind it’s up to you to look on the positive side of things. Change your perspective.
There are always going to be unanswered questions. My advice is to not dwell on them. Dwell on the fact that you learned something from this heartbreak. You know the kind of love you deserve now, and as odd as this sounds, you know how amazing loving the wrong person was. Just imagine what it will be like when you love the right one. Think about how you’re still standing on your own, despite the fact that your ex left you when you needed them most.
Ponder the question: “How much stronger can I become?” Love yourself. Love yourself! Fall in love with your flaws and your quirks. Love your awkwardness, your spunkiness, and your competitiveness. Being single does not mean being alone. Make memories with your friends and your family. Do the unexpected. Be adventurous. Cherish these moments when you are building yourself back up, because you are laying the foundation on which your next relationship will be built upon. When you’re putting those broken pieces back together, remember that you are even stronger than before. The person you were before this heartbreak did not realize that these relationships can really end, no matter how perfect they seem to be. The person you are now knows that the love you have for yourself if far more important than the affection someone else can give.
So I say to you: Do not regret the relationship that broke your heart. You are at a point in your life where you can stand on your own and begin to look forward to a new beginning and a new love. Make the most of your heartbreak.
