Your young adult years are a frightening mess of figuring out a career, becoming who you truly are, and exploration. It's a time of self discovery and a time of great successes (accompanied with many failures). They teach you who your real friends are, who you really are, and how to appreciate how easy high school was compared to the 'real world' (I would give anything to have the most stressful part of my day consisting of finding a parking spot in the student lot).
Between school and your parents, throughout your high school years you're prepared for a lot more than you think. (No, really, that AP Gov class you hated taught you more than you realize.) (And yes, all the times your parents grounded you, they taught you something too... even if you're still too bitter to realize it).
There was one thing I wasn't prepared for, though. I'm not sure any class could have prepared me for it, and it's definitely not something my parents brought up in our many discussions about being an adult: heartbreak.
Dating in this day and age is next to impossible. With the rise of ghosting, friends with benefits, 'Netflix and Chill', and so on, us millennials rightfully established that our generation specifically doesn't "date" anymore- we all have a 'thing'.
So what happens when you find that special person and it doesn't work out?
And even though I was supposed to be focusing on improving myself, I lost myself. I lost myself in the moment, in them, and in the limelight of finally having everything I wanted (or at least everything I thought I wanted). This person was magical, they promised everything- the real deal. Commitment, stability, trust, and most important a future. One day, I guess they woke up and decided that it wasn't something they wanted anymore. Unfortunately, it took me a lot longer to put that together than I would like to admit.
When we parted ways, I broke. I broke into pieces and tried to put myself back together. Though I tried to feel better, many days were spent trying to piece together what had happened- what I had done to make them stop loving me, and what I could do better for the next person. Life became different. I was finally starting to see the world without them. Of course, some days were better than others. Some I felt as if I was on top of the world, some days I struggled to get out of bed. Months had passed, and one day I woke up and decided I didn't want that life for myself anymore.
While this experience is different for everyone else, I learned this to be innately true for every person who has ever gone through heartbreak- it teaches you who you really are.
From the other side of heartbreak, I believe everyone should experience it once in their life. By no means is it a fun experience, nor am I bitter and want everyone to experience the pain and misery accompanied with heartbreak, but it was essential to understanding who I truly was.
When your world seemingly shatters, you focus on what's really important to you. Your goals become clearer, your dreams become bigger, and your ambition shoots through the roof. Self-awareness is at an all time high and you are more aware and observant and can take away valuable lessons and use this hard time as a stepping stone. You want nothing but to become a better person than you once were. It teaches you your strengths, weaknesses, how to find joy in the small things, and how to appreciate the good times and even the bad.
There are many lessons in pain- the most important lesson is to acknowledge that there are lessons to be learned.
