Politics will dirty the dinner table. So to avoid making a mess of things, we are taught to steer clear of the conversation entirely. Yet, beneath the light mummers of forks and knives brushing against plates and teeth, a storm is brewing. Your brother is sporting one of those loud "Make America Great Again" shirts, your mother has a subscription to the New York Times and thinks she is informed and your father listens to way too much conservative talk radio. You, on the other hand, are still nursing your "berns" and making justifications for socialism.
It’s a recipe for catastrophe.
After all, how can you stand to break bread with someone as morally despicable and loathsome as a Donald Trump supporter? Although the argument could be made that sly Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton is no better than the bombastic showman turned Republican candidate for President, nuance slipped out the back door a long time ago.
The landscape of the 2016 race for the White House has been a convoluted one soiled with slander, misinformation, angry tweets, belligerent rallies, protests and personal attacks on the character of others. Small wonder some would rather step back out than risk their reputation by getting involved in the fray.
If there is one guest whose presence is being sorely missed all around the table, it’s empathy.
As the beloved fictional hero, Atticus Finch, from American classic, "To Kill Mockingbird," advises his young, inquisitive daughter, Scout, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
The ability to understand and share in another person’s feelings is not only a common trait found amongst some of the world’s most successful business leaders, innovators and educators, it is also an important skill we use in our everyday interactions with others.
Our most intimate relationships with close confidants wouldn’t be possible without empathy, which helps us bridge gaps in understanding and builds strong bonds of mutual trust and appreciation. In striving to recognize each other’s plights we transcend the chasm of the "us versus them" mentality and push past invisible political and social borders that seek to label and divide us.
According to renowned Dutch primatologist Frans De Waal, who has done extensive research on the behavior and social intelligence of primates, contrary to what the current scene of political rock throwing might suggest, humans are innately empathetic.
Through various experiments and past findings, some of which De Waal describes in a 2011 Ted Talk, De Waal draws parallels between mammals across the spectrum and puts forth this idea that our pre-disposal towards helping others makes evolutionary sense and is quintessential in our collective capacity to solve the most complex problems of our time.
As De Waal writes in his 2009 book, "The Age of Empathy," “The ability to function in a group and build a support network is a crucial survival skill.”
It has even been proposed by researchers in Finland that there exists a connection between the empathy demonstrated in a classroom and a child’s learning potential.
Although, when it comes to facing the nuances and complications that tend to poke their contentious heads through fissures in our political, economic and philosophical thought structures, it’s much easier to step over them and resort to picking up sticks and stones to toss at the other side. They are quite easy to find, too, which makes for all the more fun! All it takes is a quick skim through the latest Huffington Post article to find one of Trump’s latest blunders and if you consider yourself to be more conservative in your political leanings, Fox News is sure to lend a branch on that next talking point you are looking to repeat until the end of the election cycle.
While it is tempting to simply brush entire political movements like the anti-establishment Trump Train, Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, Feel The Bern proponents and the like under the table, to do so would be ignorant and even dangerous, for that would be to ignore the predicaments of entire groups of people who are struggling to find a voice and make their grievances known.
The table is going to get dirty. This is what happens when people bring different viewpoints to a gathering, where some are certain to clash and generate friction. But, it is when we find ourselves in the most uncomfortable situations, that it becomes paramount for us to listen to one another, carefully take the time to learn and lend an empathetic ear to each other’s varying outlooks and opinions.
After all, it is out of the biggest messes, that we find buried beneath all the sticks, stones, dirt and rubble, seeds of hope for fresh answers and a better future.
