Making New Friends: Childhood Vs. Adulthood
Start writing a post
Relationships

Making New Friends: Childhood Vs. Adulthood

Making friends when we were children seemed so much easier, so what is the difference between then and now?

1218
Making New Friends: Childhood Vs. Adulthood

When you were in preschool, if you liked playing “house" and someone else liked playing “house”, you were friends. Congratulations! You found a commonality and jumped on it, and you may have stayed friends with that other child until you split up to go to different elementary schools, had a falling out when you were in high school, or you are best friends until this day. It was so simple! Your child minds just liked that person, so you became friends. You did not fully understand the meaning behind friendship though. As you got older, of course, life gets more complicated and friendship is seen as something us more difficult and stressful. As a kid, you did not have to know each other’s deepest secrets, or understand each other on more than a “friendly” level. You just had to like playing with them. You were okay with settling. You may have been okay with settling with that person because making friends as you got older, seemed more challenging. You were comfortable.

There we no cliques in childhood. You just ran around with whoever was nice to you, so you were nice to them; no complications, no hatred if he or she did not want to play with you the next day. There were no unspoken rules telling you who to hang out with. So why is it that when elementary school ended and middle school came, it changed? You changed. So did the people you called your friends a couple months ago. You join a group of people that you may not play with, but you share a common interest (sports, music, acting), and you settle in with that group. You are more than fine remaining in that circle because you did not have to go out of your comfort zone to find them. They are not complicated either. They are kind of boring because they are so similar to you. You become a stereotype in the teenage pool that so many cheesy romantic movies are made out of. You are fine with it, though. This is where you are very comfortable. Yes, you are friendly with people in other groups, but you have a home base.

High school is even more complicated because this is when you start growing up, spreading rumors about complete strangers, competing for the attention of the person you like, experiencing small pieces of independence, and you start to think about the person you want to be. Do you want to stay in this group, or do you want to try and make new friends? It is almost impossible now because these groups are cemented, and do you really want to be that one friend that isn’t really in a group but floats from friend to friend? Do you want to be the one people like but don’t include? Are you okay with not finding a true place to fit in?

It’s strange how the more you age, the more questions you create about the relationships you have, had, or will have.

You either make the decision to stay with your friends you made in high school, or go off to college with no one but your nervous self. That’s what I did, and I realized how difficult making new friends as an adult is. I am not looking for a playmate, or someone who just shares a base factor in common with me. I really do not know what I am looking for because the many questions I have do not possess any answers.

I have stayed with the same friend group for so long that I had to delete everything I knew about friendship in college. I could not just meet someone and immediately tell them everything, but I couldn’t be silent. I also could not fight with him or her because I know it will be okay the next day. I don't have history with my new acquaintances. I’m still getting to know these people. And the friends I have met so far seem to be realizing the same thing. This is not our past. The people we meet could be our possible future, and the unknown is scary. Do I want to be friends with the people I have met? Yes. Do they want to be friends with me? I honestly hope so? Can I move on if it doesn’t work out? I hope I can. Making friends was simple when we were kids because there was no foundation. Yes, making friends as an adult is harder because there needs to be more than a foundation. We need to build a relationship together. We need to trust each other, and we can’t force it. We need to be eased into each other’s abnormalities and flaws and learn to love them despite everything. Making new friends is difficult, but with patience and acceptance, it is worth it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Olivia White

"The American flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies from the last breath of each solider who died protecting it."

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Separation Anxiety in Pets

Separation anxiety in pets is a real thing and recognizing the warning signs is important.

202502

Since March, Covid-19 required most of the world to quarantine in their homes. Majority of people ended up working from home for nearly five months. This meant pet owners were constantly with their pets giving them attention, playing with them, letting them out etc. Therefore, when the world slowly started to open up again and pet owners began returning to normal life work schedules away from the home, pet owners noticed a difference in the way their pet acted. Many pets develop separation anxiety especially during this crazy time when majority people were stuck inside barely leaving the house.

Keep Reading... Show less
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

361346

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1762592

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

1116933
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

994708
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

654061
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments