Making New Friends: Childhood Vs. Adulthood | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Making New Friends: Childhood Vs. Adulthood

Making friends when we were children seemed so much easier, so what is the difference between then and now?

1692
Making New Friends: Childhood Vs. Adulthood

When you were in preschool, if you liked playing “house" and someone else liked playing “house”, you were friends. Congratulations! You found a commonality and jumped on it, and you may have stayed friends with that other child until you split up to go to different elementary schools, had a falling out when you were in high school, or you are best friends until this day. It was so simple! Your child minds just liked that person, so you became friends. You did not fully understand the meaning behind friendship though. As you got older, of course, life gets more complicated and friendship is seen as something us more difficult and stressful. As a kid, you did not have to know each other’s deepest secrets, or understand each other on more than a “friendly” level. You just had to like playing with them. You were okay with settling. You may have been okay with settling with that person because making friends as you got older, seemed more challenging. You were comfortable.

There we no cliques in childhood. You just ran around with whoever was nice to you, so you were nice to them; no complications, no hatred if he or she did not want to play with you the next day. There were no unspoken rules telling you who to hang out with. So why is it that when elementary school ended and middle school came, it changed? You changed. So did the people you called your friends a couple months ago. You join a group of people that you may not play with, but you share a common interest (sports, music, acting), and you settle in with that group. You are more than fine remaining in that circle because you did not have to go out of your comfort zone to find them. They are not complicated either. They are kind of boring because they are so similar to you. You become a stereotype in the teenage pool that so many cheesy romantic movies are made out of. You are fine with it, though. This is where you are very comfortable. Yes, you are friendly with people in other groups, but you have a home base.

High school is even more complicated because this is when you start growing up, spreading rumors about complete strangers, competing for the attention of the person you like, experiencing small pieces of independence, and you start to think about the person you want to be. Do you want to stay in this group, or do you want to try and make new friends? It is almost impossible now because these groups are cemented, and do you really want to be that one friend that isn’t really in a group but floats from friend to friend? Do you want to be the one people like but don’t include? Are you okay with not finding a true place to fit in?

It’s strange how the more you age, the more questions you create about the relationships you have, had, or will have.

You either make the decision to stay with your friends you made in high school, or go off to college with no one but your nervous self. That’s what I did, and I realized how difficult making new friends as an adult is. I am not looking for a playmate, or someone who just shares a base factor in common with me. I really do not know what I am looking for because the many questions I have do not possess any answers.

I have stayed with the same friend group for so long that I had to delete everything I knew about friendship in college. I could not just meet someone and immediately tell them everything, but I couldn’t be silent. I also could not fight with him or her because I know it will be okay the next day. I don't have history with my new acquaintances. I’m still getting to know these people. And the friends I have met so far seem to be realizing the same thing. This is not our past. The people we meet could be our possible future, and the unknown is scary. Do I want to be friends with the people I have met? Yes. Do they want to be friends with me? I honestly hope so? Can I move on if it doesn’t work out? I hope I can. Making friends was simple when we were kids because there was no foundation. Yes, making friends as an adult is harder because there needs to be more than a foundation. We need to build a relationship together. We need to trust each other, and we can’t force it. We need to be eased into each other’s abnormalities and flaws and learn to love them despite everything. Making new friends is difficult, but with patience and acceptance, it is worth it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
university
University of Nebraska at Omaha

Creating your schedule for the upcoming semester can be an exciting process. You have the control to decide if you want to have class two-days a week or five-days a week. You get to check things off of your requirement checklist. It's an opportunity for a fresh start with new classes (which you tell yourself you'll never skip.) This process, which always starts out so optimistic, can get frustrating really quickly. Here are 25 thoughts you have when registering for classes.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Thoughts Of A 5th Year Senior

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

739
college shirt
pointsincase.com

"College will be the best four years of your life" is a phrase that we have all heard growing up. College is painted as a magical place to us while we are in high school. A place you go to learn, meet your best friends and probably have the time of your life while all of this is going down. Four whirlwind years, where everything that you've known changes and you start to learn what it means to live on your own, have a job, etc. But what about those of us who don't do this all in four years? Major changes, hard courses, switching schools, career paths changing, these are just a handful of factors that could extend your four years to five, six or seven. There is nothing wrong with taking extra time to graduate, but returning as a fifth-year is a little different. Most of your best friends have most likely graduated and moved and while you may be one of the oldest undergraduates on campus, you might feel as awkward as a freshmen. A world that became home and comfortable to you is still there but it's slightly different than you've known it to be and you have to find a groove to fall into. These are thoughts you'll have as you look ahead to returning to your college campus, with a victory lap planned.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

17 Times "Friends" Accurately Described Life

You can't say that no one told you life was gonna be this way.

83
friends

In the 12 years since it went off the air, "Friends" continues to be adored by millions. The show that gave generations unrealistic expectations about love (or should I say lobsters?) and New York City apartments had a charming cast of characters that everyone could relate to at some point or another. Here are 17 times Ross, Monica, Joey, Chandler, Phoebe and Rachel accurately described life.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Times Aubrey Plaza Described Sophomore Year

"I don't want to do things. I want to do not things."

454
Aubrey Plaza
Flickr Creative Commons

Aubrey Plaza is one of my favorite humans in Hollywood. She's honest, blunt, unapologetic, and hilarious. I just started my sophomore year of college, and found that some of her best moments can accurately describe the start of the school year.

1. When your advisor tells you that you should declare a major soon.

2. Seeing the lost and confused freshmen and remembering that was you a short year ago, and now being grateful you know the ins and outs of the campus.

3. Going to the involvement fair to sign up for more clubs knowing that you are already too involved.

4. When you actually do the reading required for the first class.

5. Seeing your friends for the first time since last semester.

6. When you're already drowning in homework during syllabus week.

7. Realizing you don't have the same excitement for classes as you did as a freshman.

8. Going home and seeing people from high school gets weirder the older you get.

Keep Reading...Show less
graduation

Things you may not realize are different between high school and college:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments