I grew up as an immense tomboy that boycotted makeup until I was around 14. Thinking about it now, 14 doesn't sound like that late of an age where girls explore makeup, but all of my friends were wearing makeup at 9, so I always felt like the odd one out. I also felt weird that I was finally wearing something I had been against for the longest time. I ended up loving it, and thus my love affair with makeup started.
I slowly experimented and collected each accessory and application. Eyeshadow first, concealer, mascara, eyeliner (still my favorite to this day). Slowly, I built my own collection, and once I got my first job this only grew (due to me spending much more than I'm proud of on it). Makeup was fun! It was a form of expression, like art. I could change my entire appearance and how I felt about myself with the swipe of a brush, almost like Photoshop. I used it to hide my insecurities, enhance my natural features, and in my 15-year-old self's words: Look alive.
Around my junior year of college to a few months ago, I wouldn't leave the house unless I had foundation, eyeliner, and mascara on AT THE MINIMUM. I hated my natural skin and eyes and had to have SOMETHING. I would spend an hour or more before class and work making sure my contour was perfect, eyeliner "on point," and foundation wasn't cakey. I was trying so hard to look natural with over 10 products slapped on my face. Finally, I had a realization. Why was I doing this? Why did I go from wearing little to enhance my features to suddenly feeling like I had to have this entire mask on every day?
And so I stopped.
I wanted to go back to that girl that used makeup for fun rather than a necessity. I wanted to love my own skin again. I still wear makeup, not as often, but I still do. I've ditched foundation, focusing more on keeping my skin healthier than just covering up flaws. I now spot treat with concealer whenever needed. I no longer contour (I never wanted to get into it in the first place), but do use my bronzer for some light color. I went very minimal, which after six years of full face, is TERRIFYING.
It took a while before I looked at my natural, bare face and thought it was just fine the way it was. But I'm finally there and love that I turned my own love for makeup back to "for fun" instead of "a need every day." It's made me happier in my own skin, and I have a new love for all of my makeup products.
