Have you ever watched The PowerPuff Girls? Professor Utonium creates the PowerPuff Girls in attempt to create "three perfect little girls" mixing "sugar, spice, and everything nice."
Recently, during a very boring Sunday night, I stumbled upon a top secret recipe for the Republican candidate Donald Trump. With these ingredients, you can make a Donald Trump too!
Ingredients
1. Bigotry
This is the most crucial ingredient to making your own Donald Trump. This ingredient is essential, and will set the tone for the finished product. If you're trying to choose a specific kind of bigotry at the market, make sure you pick "racial." Racial bigotry does an excellent job in bringing out the true "American" flavor of this entree and keeps down the "Mexican" flavor that might just ruin your food. If you don't want the flavor of rapists and crime in your very own Trump, this ingredient is a must-have.
2. Whining
"I do whine because I want to win and I'm not happy about not winning and I am a whiner and I keep whining and whining until I win"
One of the most underrated ingredient of the Trump. You might see something similar in your 6-year old child, but this ingredient in a grown man is totally different. This ingredient is a crowd-favorite to the uneducated voters of America, who wash down their unfounded sense of entitlement with 7-11 Big Gulps and daily complaint of "immigrants took our jobs."
3. Confidence with a hint of complete ignorance
This is the ingredient that brings everything together into one cohesive creation. This ingredient amplifies the above ingredient to the level of absurdity, but people will love it. Instead of seeing your creation as a "charlatan armed with incorrect scientific knowledge," people will see your creation as "the American hero who is not afraid to speak his mind." If one of your critics come at you with scientific proof, deflect their jabs with braggadocio and confidence. Even if you're completely wrong, you'll sound right as long as you're confident.
Now, I might come off as a Trump-hater, but let me tell you, I love him. I love waking up in the morning and clicking some absurd news article, such as "Trump says Obama literally worse than Hitler," and realizing that he actually said it.
Also, as strong advocate for the scientific method, it's always refreshing to see the other side of the coin.
Image Credit: Twitter.com
Trump never fails to impress me with his innovative, sound arguments. He truly thinks outside the box and there is no wonder that this made him the business tycoon he is now. Scientists can babble all they want about the gradual warming of the Earth; it's January and it's cold. Boom, checkmate, scientists. Where's your Darwin now?
To me, Donald Trump is the living proof that American Dream isn't dead. The story of Trump rising from the abyss of ignorance, and leading the unlearned masses to the promised land sounds like the American Dream to me.
But what do I know about America? I'm just an immigrant.
