I find it offensive when people tell me and my boyfriend, "Omg, I can't wait until you guys have kids," as if it was the highest compliment you could give.
How dare you wish kids on me and not growth. Wish me a peace of mind, a new car, a mortgage on a house; wish me a happy marriage, not happy and broke with a child.
I would rather hear people say, "I can't wait until you guys get married."
Now don't take what I say out of context, having kids is a beautiful blessing, but I would like to think my relationship is more than us making procreating. I look at the bigger picture of being compatible with one another, growing together, and becoming husband and wife.
Four years ago my boyfriend put a ring on my finger with the promise of devoting himself to a committed relationship. Of course within those four years, children have become a topic. However, we both agreed having children are not in our budget at the moment.
With being a full-time college student and working I don't know where a kid will fit in. Recently, we just moved in together and the only thing on my friend's mind is our children.
When I moved in with him I told him from the start: make me a wife, not a baby mama. I'm looking to build a future with this man and in order for that to work we both have to be on the same page. Women often get confused believing that having a baby will help keep a man, but it doesn't. If you think like that, you are most likely already someone's baby-mama.
Being a baby-mama isn't too bad if that's all you have to offer to the relationship. The reason behind my no-children mentality is my desire for financial stability. I wouldn't dare bring a child into this world without being to offer them the sun. So, I can't see myself getting knocked-up and becoming someone's baby-mama, because I'm more than that. Not to mention how my bank account at the moment, you would understand.
I don't believe having children out of wedlock is a sin; I just don't see that in my future. Maybe its the old school in me that makes me see things at a different angle. I set up a goal planner for myself two years ago... right when my 'baby fever' kicked in. I had to check myself because it was getting out of control. Luckily, my boyfriend kicked some sense into me and told me that wasn't going to happen. He said, "You will be my wife some day, so be patient."
So, here I am with my goal planner with the words written; graduation, marriage, travel, kids. Next stop, graduation.
