When I was a kid, I always wanted to surround myself with friends. I was obsessed with the idea that you had to have someone around you to support you always. I was always trying to be dependent, but I was also extremely shy and always ended up back into the comforting, invisible arms of imaginary friends. As I got older, I made many close friends. Most of them ended up drifting into their own adult lives. A couple of us had falling outs with one another. A few of them remain my closest friends today. Nonetheless, I have been rather careful recently about who I let in my inner circle. I think it's important for me to express to anyone reading this that your feelings are valid and that the people who love you won't go anywhere as long as it's a healthy relationship. As I always say, everything happens for a reason. We learn a lot of lessons in life, but the biggest one for me has been that loyalty is earned. This week's article is about how to be comfortable and you with anyone. It's also about how and when to put your foot down when you need to.

If you feel like you can't express your opinion or like you are always in your friend or lover's shadow, you should probably dip out of that situation while you can. Many times, we feel afraid to let people we love down simply because we love them. If you don't feel comfortable with a situation, you have every right to express that. I have been in many relationships where I felt like my voice was gone and that person was supposed to come before me. That's not true and it's also not fair for you to feel that way. It's super important to consider how others feel, but it's just as important to consider how you feel. Don't feel like going out tonight? Then don't. That being said if a friend of yours doesn't want to go out, never push them. Remember that everyone needs space just like you do and be sure to give them it.

The biggest thing to remember is that you owe no one anything. You do not owe people an explanation, you do not owe them an apology if you feel you did nothing wrong, and you do not owe them your loyalty if they don't deserve it. It's as simple as that. When I moved, I learned not only to be independent but what friends from home really had my back and felt I deserved their loyalty and trust. To me, that's a big deal. I always say friends are your chosen family. Don't choose people who make you feel worthless, belittle you, and then equally expect you to trust them and give them your all. You owe them nothing. Friends are friends, family is family, but you are you. Taking care of you is the most important thing you can do in your life. It is your life after all. Be kind, be respectful, but stand your ground. Admit when you are wrong, seek to understand how others feel, but equally understand how you feel is just as important.

I wish everyone reading this the best. Take care of you as you would take care of others and vice versa.