As the movement towards self-love and improved mental health in America thrive, integral actions to achieving self love can go overlooked. For many, the understanding of self love extends as far as feeling beautiful, pampering yourself and embracing your insecurities. These are definitely acts of self love however self love is a much more expansive practice.
In 2016, instant gratification is the norm. People are prone to involving themselves in situations that will make them most happy in the moment rather than in the long run. Although, spontaneity and adventure are alluring recklessness can dance right along especially if matters are not well investigated. More importantly, loving yourself is evaluating how a situation can help or hinder you. Every event that people go through is a growing experience but cherry picking what one exposes themselves to is an important aspect of self love. Acts of self love also come from making tough decisions for yourself.
I personally have run into this lesson a multiplicity of times in regards to major life choices dealing with love, occupation opportunities and travel. A recent example of this happened a few months before my departure from school. This summer I was given the opportunity to intern in Brazil. Although an internship in Brazil was very appealing, my primary reason for applying was that I wanted to go to the 2016 Summer olympics no matter the circumstance. However, after my acceptance into the program I began to realize this was a very compromising position I would be placing myself in. The program would cost me nearly $5,000 and in order to reduce the program offered me and unpaid internship. I would've had to pay for rent and living expenses out of pocket. I would've had to move out of my apartment by the end of the month. Pay for an extended stay in the country and a ticket from Brazil to Morocco which would be my next venture. I put up $1800 of my own money and created a gofundme account to create the rest of the revenue. As a I was hustling, I felt like I was throwing myself into a tumultuous whirlwind.
I had become accustomed to uncomfortable predicaments, but this trip just seemed like another fire I was volunteering to fight. I realized that putting myself up for a fight I’m not ready for is disadvantageous for my wellbeing. For the first time, I decided to stop. I called the internship program and explained that I would not be to attend. To my surprise, the coordinator understood my circumstances and concerns and gladly refunded me the money and asked me to stay in touch for other internships. I was very proud of myself because I felt like I saved myself from an unfavorable situation.
In retrospect, I have questioned why was I surprised by her easy acceptance of my decision. She respected me and what I wanted for myself, something that I had been afraid others would not have. I got mixed opinions about my choice to turn down the offer. A family member expressed their disappointment and frustration with me and stated that I lacked faith. However, after inward reflection, I couldn't agree less. I felt like what I did was wise and took wisdom from prior experiences and decided that I could go another time under more favorable circumstances. I realized that I was the one that would have to live with the discomfort that may have befallen me. The amount of applause I would get for my adventure was not enough currency for my wellbeing. I should not have been surprised by the woman’s response to my decision or timid about saying “no”. My choices about what to do with myself ought to be respected and that starts with me. Me respecting my decision and sticking to it no matter who it may disappoint in the moment is self love.
“Self-care isn’t easy, it’s a process. A process that requires us to show up intentionally and truly and wholly” for you, tweeted writer Alex Elle. I challenge those on their journey of self- exploration self- love and acceptance to understand that all the things that you desire don’t have to happen instantly or right now. Having patience with yourself and the process of attaining your goals is an act of self love. Being wise about what one exposes themselves to is an act of self love. Saying “no” is also an act of self love. Self love is a conglomeration of intentional acts that one does for oneself. Sometimes choosing yourself and wellbeing is a tough decision, but chose you always. Choosing yourself is better in the long run.
