Thank you for loving me and my anxiety too.
If there is anything I have to be thankful for, it is that I have found someone who makes my hard days so much easier. Living a life where you are fighting a constant depressing battle with anxiety, you face some good days; you feel extremely happy, on top of the world, nothing can take that away. But, there are the bad days too. The days where you can't even bring yourself to get out of bed, or when you do it's the most challenging act of your day. Days where you want nothing but to be alone, and even when you are alone you becoming painfully sad it turns your bones numb. Days where you forget who you are and you don't even know what is causing it. The bad days are so much more than just bad. When I feel alone and like nothing more in the world could go wrong, when I feel my lungs crushing in on me as if I'm drowning and I can see the worlds walls crumbling down around me, that's when I look at you. You are the light at the end of the tunnel, you have always been my silver lining. You were the one solid thought in my rambling brain. When I feel as if there is nothing right in the world for me, you are there. You pull me in tighter and make me feel safe when I feel like my body is out to get me. You are the buoy that keeps my body from sinking in the drowning waters I am facing. You have created solidarity in my chaotic mess of thoughts and I could never take enough time to explain how much that means to me.
Loving someone who can't love themselves is more of a battle than you think. There are constant insecurities, constant feelings that you aren't loved or wanted, and having to overcome those thoughts and still maintain a happy and healthy relationship is so hard to do, but you... you have made it a walk in the park. You take my bad days with the good as if they aren't even there. You accept my faults and insecurities and love them as if they are my greatest qualities. You see me through the screams, and the breaths, and the tears, for my true and natural beauty within. You have done nothing less than make my problems yours, and love me unconditionally. You have single handedly made me a stronger person than I was before I knew you. You have made me see my greatness and my worth, and you have made me love my weaknesses. You have grown with me, and shown me that there will always be someone out there for everyone that will never fail to make them feel like they are on top of the world, even if they feel in the moment as if they are buried beneath it. I can't apologize for all of the times I have to revolve our relationship around my problems because they are a part of who I am. My anxiety is me, and you are the first and only person to understand that about me. You have never made me feel responsible for what I go through, you have never made me feel like I should be sorry for the pain I am in. You have always accepted and loved it, as if it were me.
If there is anything in this world that I will always appreciate more than anything.. it is the love and support you have given me by loving me and my anxiety too. You are so much more important than you believe, and I could talk for hours about how much I love you. But, all I can do for now, is thank you for your endless sleepless nights holding me close when I think the world is ending for me. Thank you for the countless times you have wiped my tears away, and picked me back up to my feet and made me feel like nothing in the world can stop me. Thank you for being you, you will never understand what you have become for me.
I love you, thank you for loving me and my anxiety too.
