If you’re reading this because you’re desperately trying to find an ultra diet that will completely change the shape of your body in less than five days, I suggest you go to your search engine, look up the definition of asinine and add your name as an example. If you’re reading this because you’re uncomfortable with your reflection in the mirror and you don’t know what to do, then you’re in just the right place. Your happiness and mental health are important, remember that.

I know that being comfortable in your own skin is not an easy task for some, especially when there are women on this Earth like Jennifer Aniston, who is 50-years-old and can beat me, a 20 year old, in a wet T-shirt contest. It’s especially hard with the influences brought by social media, like Instagram models and those girls who get over 100 likes on a picture, while I’m still struggling to get my mom to like my selfies. It’s so easy to compare yourself to these girls who get all the attention from cute guys, and it’s hard to be the girl your friends describe to guys as “socially awkward” or being the girl that you “learn to love.” It’s hard, and nobody understands that more than I do.

I could tell you the story of a teenage girl who was deathly afraid that her boyfriend would dump her if she gained five pounds because he didn’t like curvy girls. I could tell you about how someone once told me I would amount to nothing and I would never go anywhere in life because I didn’t like their actions. I could tell you a story about how a girl took pictures of me changing in a locker room and posted them on Facebook for the whole world to see when I wasn’t even comfortable seeing myself naked. I could talk about the time I cut my hair to donate 16 inches of hair, and all people could focus on was the fact that I looked like a boy. I could tell you all of these stories and try to get sympathy for all these things that have happened, but I think it’s hilarious, not sad. I’m not filled with some burning hatred for these people; in fact, I just feel sorry for them.

You see, I’ve learned that there are only two opinions about me that matter: mine and God. I used to beat myself up every day because I didn’t like the way my thighs touched, or how when I laugh really hard no noise comes out and I look like an animal in distress or even the way I thought that I would never amount to anything other than average. I didn't like just about every single thing that made me the person I am. Nobody was a harsher critic of me than myself; I was vain and sought acceptance through the eyes of others rather than through my own. I was letting my low self esteem control every aspect of my life: mentally, emotionally and socially. Why did I let something as silly as the way that I view myself have such an influence on my mood and my life? God created me in his image, and there I was critiquing the artwork of the Creator of the stars. I don’t look at sunsets and critique the sky for having too much orange and not enough pink, rather, I just appreciate the sunset for what it is: a blessing. Why was I critiquing and shaming myself so much?

I’m not saying that you have to love every single aspect about yourself because then you’re just an over-confident jerk who thinks everyone likes them. I’m saying you don’t have to be the best to feel your best. There will be people who mock you for standing up for yourself; stand up for yourself anyways and don’t accept that toxic person in your life. There will be people who don’t find you attractive, that doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive to someone else (like me, I’ve probably stalked you on Instagram).

The point I’m trying to make is that when you’re looking in the mirror, who are you looking at? Yourself, not Jennifer Aniston or that girl two towns over that gets 100 plus likes on her Instagram selfies (check my article, “Why It’s Time To Put That Phone Away,” to see my opinion on that). Maybe it’s time to give yourself a break, and focus on the positives that come from being you.

Go stand in front of your mirror (fully clothed or in the nude, whatever tickles your peach) and find five things you like about yourself. Depending on how uncomfortable you are with yourself this could take a while, but don’t feel bad because it took me almost three hours to figure out something that I liked about myself. It may seem silly, but rather than focusing on the things that you dislike about yourself, focus on the good qualities about yourself. It’s truly amazing how much better you feel when you focus on the positive aspects in your life rather than dwell in the negative. You don't need to fit into a certain size of clothing to have the perfect body, you just have to be happy with the way you look and the body you've been blessed with.

You weren’t put on this Earth to hate yourself, so why spend so much time doing that? God created each and every one of us in His image. If he wanted me to look like Alessandra Ambrosio, well I would be six inches taller and have a rockin’ body. He created me for something greater than fitting into size two jeans or worrying about boys, and it blows my mind how long it took me to realize that. Mother Theresa didn’t waste her time focusing on her thighs; she had things to do and so do I. It’s OK to love yourself -- you’ve got so much to live for. You don’t have to be the smartest person to know what you’re doing, you don’t have to be the best dancer to do the electric slide and you don’t have to be the best to feel the best. Stop comparing yourself to others and focusing on what you don’t have. Start counting the things you’re grateful for.