A Thank You Letter To The Man Who Taught Me How To Love

This was the longest relationship I had ever been in, three years going hard and strong. We made it throughout high school all the way through till our college years. I can not thank you enough for the memories we've made and the times we have shared. Unfortunately, as our journeys have continued, we have changed. You were everything I once wanted in a man but as time flew, so did we. We grew up, and had different views, different likes, we became completely different people. Once you start to mature, you realize that the child-like fairy tale relationship you once had was in the past and the fairy tale feelings are gone. You start to wonder is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? Will he hold my hair back as I puke in the toilet pregnant with his children.... will he still love me when I'm old and wrinkly.? Will he pick me up and love me unconditionally till the day we die? Are we a good team? Does he provide? Is this the guy that I once dreamed of being with? Will he be a good role model to our children? Can I really see a future with him, or do I just see a past filled with the old memories we once had? Yes, we may have had the most amazing times but now that we are older we can no longer have any contemplating. We can no longer play mind games with each other doubting one another's love. Is he the one or isn't he? It's time to face it. No more dating just to date. As I sat and thought about this I realized you were not the person God had in store for me. I got so caught up into what we used to be that I was missing the key important things that you lacked that I have always wanted in a man I but had settled for less because I was in love. I was blinded by love and I realized I had so much more growing to do before I could be a wife to you or any man...I stayed in the relationship for so long because I felt comfortable. So here I am today after being apart for 3 months, and yet my heart breaks to say this but we will never be together again. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for showing me how to love, and most importantly thank you for showing me how to love myself. Before you, I thought love was impossible for me. I had been hurt so many times and taken advantage of but now I see that love is possible and I just need to find that person who is going to love me unconditionally. I was so caught up with finally finding someone when I was young who was perfect for me that I stayed in this relationship not realizing I had my entire life ahead of me to figure out. I was so happy with the way you once treated me like your princess. As you and I got older, the personalities we once had vanished, the man I fell in love with was no longer there, and the women you once loved did not exist. The intimate relationship we once had was gone. I do not hate you, and I pray that you will find that women to make you just as happy as I did in those first few years. You deserve that and so much more. I now know somewhere someone is praying for me...and I am everything they are looking for and I intend to wait for that person who is waiting for me 💕

-your first love

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11