"If I could save you I would, darling. I would. But I can’t. For I learned time and time again that human beings cannot be saved, or fixed, or grown by others — they can only be loved. So I will love you, and I will love you well...I will love you on the days you are made of light, and I will love you just as much when the world feels like a load you have to carry upon your shoulders. I will love you through your healing, and I will love you through your hurt. I will love you through your peace, and I will love you through your pain...I refuse to fall in love with the idea of who you can be if I were to nip and tuck and patch and sew you into someone else...I refuse to love you in halves...Show me where you break and I will love you there. Show me where you hope and I will love you there. Show me where you doubt and I will love you there. Show me where you hide, and I will love you there."

-Bianca Sparacino

I think there was a time when I believed that loving someone was easy. I would read over the "love verse," and merely skim the surface, thinking to myself, "yes, I'm pretty patient, mhmm, I'm kind, sometimes I'm jealous, but aren't we all?"

I believed that love came with ease because I only held my love in relation to my loved ones, and to the ones I would willingly set my heart out for. Of course loving them was easy, they loved me back. Sure, we had our disputes and downfalls at times, but at the end of the day, I was guaranteed favor among them.

But as I sat in church the other week, I was struck by a new concept. Zacchaeus, a despised tax collector who betrayed many, was called by name, by Jesus himself. Jesus invited himself to Zacchaeus' house, to be in community with him. "Now imagine," my pastor said, "if you saw Jesus sharing a meal with someone who has betrayed you." We are not only called to love our neighbor, but we are called to love the ones who have betrayed us, those that have done us wrong. Jesus loves them just the same. That's how deep love is.

At times we have a certain idea of someone in our heads. "If only they did this, if only they held themselves in this regard, then they would be lovable to me." I love the part of the quote up top that says, "I refuse to fall in love with the idea of who you can be if I were to nip and tuck and patch and sew you into someone else...I refuse to love you in halves." Refuse to love someone in halves. Just as we should not pick and choose who to love, we should not love people merely for their bright white smiles, for their infectious joy, and for the days where the world is light and beautiful to them. We must not love some idealized, future version of them. We have to love them presently. We must love them in their darkness. We must love them in their nastiness, in their terribleness, in their hopelessness. We must desperately reach for them as they shut out the world.

Pain is an ugly thing, and few wish to feel it for themselves, let alone walk beside those who grieve. But sometimes it's just that, just being. Holding someone in their fear and in their misery.

Sometimes we are afraid to accept others for their darkness or for their choices that we see as wrong or unacceptable. We are afraid of condoning sin, we are afraid of "tainting" our lives with their wickedness. The problem comes with our definition of "acceptance,” as it has become skewed and blurred along the way. Just because you love someone does not mean you agree with their decisions.Even the crowds sneered at Jesus when He chose to extend love to little Zacchaeus, saying, "He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner." In all honesty, who cares what others think? Man is not our God.

You aren't called to fix someone, to "nip and tuck" them until you see them as worthy enough for your love. No, none of us were ever worthy. But because of love, we can stand victorious in the face of sin, we can see ourselves as blameless and beautiful in our mess.

Put meaning back into love. How often, when I say, "I love you," do I honestly mean it? Am I patient with you, kind with you? Do I rejoice in truth with you? Do I bear all things for you? There is such beauty found in loving someone as they are, every flaw and every blemish. Love has no borders, no checklist and no requirements. It simply is, as we all must simply be.