Loving a Girl Who Has Been Wounded by Life
Start writing a post
Relationships

Loving a Girl Who Has Been Wounded by Life

How do you love a girl who doesn't know how to be loved?

458
Loving a Girl Who Has Been Wounded by Life
unsplash.com

So you've met a girl. She is funny, beautiful, sassy, sweet, caring, everything you have ever wanted in a woman, but she is guarded. You haven't learned the ins and outs of her life yet but you can tell she is putting walls up around you. These walls are carefully crafted in order to protect herself from getting hurt, again. Life has not been kind to her and you may be everything she has dreamed of, but, on the outside, you look like a threat. If she was to be honest with you, she'd say you scare her to death. She likes you more than she knows how to express but every fiber of her being is on edge around you. Her heart wants to let you in but everything inside her is screaming, "Run! Cut it off. Don't let him in. He might not be trustworthy and might take advantage of you emotionally or, even worse, physically. Or he might be amazing, you resist the urge to run, let him in and he hurts you anyways. Maybe he will get tired of you and move on. Or maybe your fears of being unlovable are true and he realizes he wasted his time."

Being pursued isn't something that comes naturally to her because she is used to taking care of herself. Her walls aren't just defense mechanisms, they are also a well-crafted fortress to protect her from people and situations that could possibly cause pain. Usually she is extremely good at keeping men at a distance but somehow you got close enough that she let down a wall, and that's even scarier than being so guarded that no man gets close. This may be frustrating for you if you don't take the time to understand her. She is used to either cutting men out of her life before things get serious or them giving up on her because they don't want to take the time to earn her trust.

Take the time to earn her trust. Yes, she is extremely guarded. Yes, those walls are very hard to climb. Yes, she will probably, at some point, try to run away from you. But please, don't give up on her. She needs someone to teach her what love looks like. It may take awhile but if you are willing to love her through her defense mechanisms and aversions to pain, you will help her heal. You can't necessarily heal her by your own strength, but you can help her on the journey of learning to heal herself. She needs you to love her unconditionally and refuse to give up on her. She needs someone to understand her and fight with her when she wants to respond with fear instead of faith. You can't be her savior because she already has one, but you can help her learn she is worth loving.

This girl is special. She has been through hell and still walks around with a smile on her face. She is brave and willing to fight when others would give up. She has experienced pain intimately and she is still learning how to deal with it but she keeps going. Teach her what healthy intimacy looks like. Show her that being loved can be scary but it is worth it. Show her that she can be vulnerable with you over time and you won't judge her or run away. She needs to see what a real man looks like and maybe you can be that for her.

Yes, loving a girl who has been through tremendous pain is not for the faint of heart. She needs a warrior who can be both gentle and courageous. She doesn't need you to try and deal with your fantasies with her or try to change her into something she isn't. She needs to be loved just that way she is so that she can grow into something even better. If you are ready to love the guarded woman you see before you then be ready for a journey. It may take awhile and come with a few emotional walls to climb but once you gain her trust, she will love you relentlessly.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

53174
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34168
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956770
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181539
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments