Perfect pictures, long text messages, sweet surprises, no fighting — everybody longs for an unrealistic relationship. I have learned through the past five years what love in a realistic relationship looks like and although blurry more times than none, the end result is so much more fulfilling than any icing on top — perfect on the outside relationship.
For all of us looking for the perfect relationship without complication and with every bit of perfection — stop looking because you're not going to find it. Learned the hard way, I have found that I have had so many things wrong on what to love about someone and how to grow together in the right direction. I'm still so far from perfection - and I am content knowing that point in a relationship doesn't exist, and it doesn't need to.
The honeymoon phase isn't going to last forever
The love doesn't have to fade, but the nerves that send our hearts pounding out of our chest every time we are around the one we love is temporary. The months of agreeing on everything and having no tension between each other will not carry on for years and years. As time passes, you find a deeper love in the minimal things. The small gestures of appreciation, the sticky note on the back door, and a surprise full tank of gas become a sweet blessing.
You are not going to always agree
What would a lively relationship be between two people who have 100% of everything in common? With time, you will find yourself disagreeing on where to eat, what color to paint the walls or each other's opinions about events going on in the world. (If you agree 100% of the time — I'd love to hear your secrets.)
You can't expect perfection
I have caught myself on a daily basis for the past five years always thinking of what I "wish" he would have done for me, instead of noticing the things he did do for me. Like many others, I get sucked into the expectation of a "Pinterest" relationship. Too often we are let down with unrealistic expectations that our significant other will stop their lives at any moment to answer your every need. The satisfaction that comes with noticing what good is already present instead of scolding what isn't there will change the outlook on the entire relationship.
Accepting the fact that every day is a learning experience is crucial
I like to think I have learned a lifetime of lessons in the last five years of an up and dow roller coaster, but I have a feeling I am in for a hell of a lot more. Just when we think we have worked through one challenge, another arises. Without starting each new day with an optimistic "teamwork" attitude, our relationship would crumble into selfishness and pride.
As many mistakes as I have made, and as many lessons that I have learned in a relationship that has been in an out of the honeymoon stage, I look back and swell with happiness at the obstacles we have overcome. I find love in the small things and look forward to the lessons I have yet to learn. Accepting imperfection has been the best thing I could have done for myself and my relationship.
