To my loved ones who ask me how school is going:
I appreciate your interest and concern with my academic endeavors; it feels great knowing that someone cares enough to check in and ask how I am doing. However: I have to be honest and tell you how I truly feel about that question.
First of all: it gets exhausting telling everyone I run into how school is going. I am frequently asked by family and friends how school is going. Although I appreciate the concern from others, it can be a bit irritating constantly repeating myself.
Secondly: when I answer those who ask how school is going, most times I am lying or hiding the full truth. Think about it: how many times have you asked someone how they were doing and they simply said “good”? That seems to be the typical answer.
Often times, I come home from school feeling lethargic and exhausted. Along with attending classes every day, going to work, attempting to get some sleep, trying to maintain a social life, and keeping my grade point average up, I am also trying to keep my mind in tact.
It's enough to make anyone dizzy, and for someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, it can be even harder. School can become lonesome, and sometimes, I crave my bed more than going out and doing activities with friends.
It can be hard to explain to people that I am feeling depressed or tired when I am at school.
I worry that people will say that I am overreacting. I am in constant fear that people will judge me if I say anything other than things are going “good”, but I am tired of being dishonest.
I feel like I am deceiving my family and friends, and that makes me feel like a horrible person. I just want others to know how I feel.
Now that I have this message out in the open, I hope that others can understand how I feel and respect that.
I do not want anyone to feel as if I am irritated by them asking me how life is going; it's a great way to show that you care. I just want everyone to know that I want to be honest with them from now on.
I want to be able to express my real feelings without fear of judgement. I want others to be able to have deeper conversations with me about why I feel the way that I do or how I can feel better.
I do not want to lie to the people I love.
I was taught that honesty is the best policy, and I will be more open with how I am truly feeling. No longer will I say that I am doing “good”; now I will tell you how I am really feeling and be able to explain why without fear of judgement.
Sincerely,A forever grateful college student