The most important step in loving yourself is learning how to stop making comparisons. This may seem like an impossible task, but I like to think of it this way: the majority of the world would agree that puppies are cute, but not one puppy is exactly alike. Some people are obsessed with pugs; some want a golden retriever. Some want a rescue dog; others want to start from the beginning. Some want a big husky with blue eyes and lots of fur; others want an old lap dog with a lazy tongue.
However, despite all these differences, and despite most people having a “favorite” type of dog, we know that all puppies are adorable and worthy of love. You, as a human being, are also adorable and worthy of love, despite what you look like, where you come from, how old you are, and how many tricks you know off the top of your head.
Not everyone is going to like you, but don’t let someone else’s opinion of you obstruct your own self-esteem. Sometimes, when I see a really cute puppy, I bend down to pet it and it rejects me. Usually, my initial reaction is feeling hurt, humiliated and heartbroken, but I have to remind myself that there are plenty of other dogs in the park who love being approached by desperate college students in need of a little dog therapy.
The other day, my roommate and I walked by a convenience store and saw the most peculiar looking puppy tied to a tree outside, waiting for its owner to return from shopping. At first, we were mistified by its strange appearance, but as we walked closer, its bubbly personality began to shine through; it started wagging its skinny tail and bobbing its little, narrow head towards our outreached hands. Soon enough, we were in love.
If that puppy had been worried about its appearance in comparison to all the other cute puppies around town (and don’t even get me started with all the cute ones on Instagram!), it probably wouldn’t have been as confident; it wouldn’t have accepted our love as easily as it did. Instead, it made a great first impression with its personality, and its looks followed after. As Stephen Chbosky once wrote in his novel, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” If the dog had been mean and cold and barked at my roommate and I when we walked closer to it, we probably would have avoided the interaction completely. The same is true when you meet an extremely good-looking person who turns out to have a disgusting personality; it’s not long before that person seems as ugly as the words that come out of his or her mouth. It doesn't take long to realize the importance of personality over appearance. The world would be pretty boring if we were all conventionally beautiful.
One last scenario: you’ve known since you were little that you’ve always wanted a yellow lab like the one you used to walk for your neighbor after school. It had to be a girl and you had to name it Josie. Years later, you’re ready to make your move and adopt the dog of your dreams from some adoption website you found through Google. But, one day, you’re scrolling through Facebook and you see that your friend who works at the animal shelter downtown has posted a picture of a dog in need of a new owner. He’s a mixed breed and his name is Charlie and he’s seven years old. He was neglected at his last home and was in pretty bad shape when he was rescued, but he’s all better now and needs a loving home. Charlie wasn’t your plan, but something in your gut tells you that you’re going to be best friends forever.
