Guys, this one is primarily written for you.
(Ladies, this still can apply to y'all but, as a guy, I'mwriting from my point of view.)
Love comes in many forms and, likewise, the phrase "I love you" comes in many forms. Primarily, in English, we synonymize the phrase with the romantic part of love. I want to challenge that generality by saying "I love you" can, and should, be more equally used across the different uses.
The Greeks had several words to define these variations of love. Three of the most well known are:
1.) Eros - Sexual love/attraction.
2.) Agape - An overarching love for everyone.
3.) Philia - Deep friendship kind of love; best friends.
This last one is the one I want to talk about.
Philia.
Unfortunately, we do not have the luxury, in English, to have a plethora of words to clearly indicate what kind of love we're referring to. Thus, we get caught in the monogamous usage of "love" in the phrase "I love you". This can lead to problems in communication.
I've noticed a real taboo with the phrase "I love you" when said from one man towards his friend; this seems to happen less often with women. Perhaps the singularity of the word "love" in English with the combination of weight the phrase carries in its Eros form is to blame for the hesitancy.
My question is, gentlemen:
Do you ever say "I love you" to your other male friends?
Not to every single one but, to those who truly matter to you?
Amidst the tragedies which befall families, the statement "tell your loved ones you love them" gets thrown around a lot as a reminder to make sure those whom we love, know they are loved.
Guys, do your friends know they're loved?
I don't get why it has to be "weird" or "gay" (yes, this is often an excuse) to tell your friends you love them. Why? Because you do. Love them, that is. Now, each relationship is different so, maybe you feel the need to add a "bro" or a "man" after "I love you". To each their own but, I think there's a significant and genuine power to the phrase with zero additions.
Life is made up of relationships. Some last only a short time and some last forever. Gents, to those guys who you consider to be those forever, long-lasting and/or close friends, this holiday season, tell them you love them. Tell them you cherish your friendship and are a blessed by your relationship. Just like a mother and child relationship, these close friendships need nurturing and care too. Strong Philia relationships are built by mutual love, encouragement and honesty (among many other things).
I've said it before and I'll say it again: "words are powerful". So, use that power to bless, encourage and love on your friends.
Cheers,
ZER
