In the days post-February-14th, 2017, I have noticed great amounts of bitterness towards a holiday that celebrates love. It forced me to do some reflection on when I had been one of those bitter nay-sayers and this is my message to all of you.

This time last year, I was exactly eight days into my most horrific breakup. Three days before Valentine’s Day seemed quite a cruel day to dump your girlfriend, but as a friend pointed out to me that day, my ex (whom I will call D) would have dumped me right after the chocolate and rose filled holiday anyway so it would have been completely fake. Though I agreed, I still felt as if a scalding hot knife had been plunged into the depths of my heart.

Part of that was I because I had yet to realize how D had been emotionally abusive to me, thus making our relationship toxic. Another part of my heartbreak was that though I was in the habit of telling D that I loved him, he had no idea of my love for another young man (who I will call J). The final part of this terrible pain was the fact that once again, I’d been dumped close to Valentine’s Day. Furthermore, my relationship with D was the closest I’d come to having a real Valentine for February 14th.

It was a terrible time, the week of Valentine’s Day in 2016 but here I am a year later, stronger, freer, and more loving of myself. Back in those dark days (the exact date of my horrid breakup was February 11th, 2017), I had sworn off love forever, vehemently declaring that true love was just a flaming pile of horse crap sold to the gullible public for a large profit. My friends laughed, saying that I would once again find love. I stood firm in my argument, saying that while I was capable of love, the realities of it actually working out in my favor were non-existent. However, as the months flew by, the fear that replaced my heartbreak lessened.

Though I had finally seen D for what he really was, I was able to relearn the signs of emotional abuse and shady characters that could very well be registered criminals. Despite what D had put me through, I was thankful for the men in my life who showed me that not all of them are monsters straight from hell.

Also during this time period, my feelings for J grew, and though he did not return them -to the best of my knowledge- it was proof that I could love and somehow, even though it wasn’t working, I remained hopeful. Of course, it didn’t but when I finally forced myself to realize that any hope of being with J was gone like a piece of trash in the wind, so were my crushing thoughts that had always followed a rejection.

By then, I loved myself enough to see what good life had to offer and that to be true happiness was not dependent on romantic relationships. I allowed myself to remain hopeful that one day I would have a meaningful relationship with someone I loved, but that if I didn’t that was perfectly acceptable.

Fast forward a few short months to where I am now. It is February 11th, 2017, exactly one year from when I had sworn off love forever. I am not the premature crazy cat lady I feared I would become, nor am I bitter hag determined to hate romance, especially the holiday dedicated to having a significant other. Instead, I went out for breakfast with my boyfriend, where we celebrated our 4 month anniversary by eating as many gigantic pancakes as humanly possible. I am getting ready to celebrate Valentine’s Day with this boy, and while I don’t know exactly what I am doing, I know it will be special because I love him. I made over 150 cookies to share with classmates, coworkers, and anyone who could use a random act of

kindness. Sure, I might have missed out on past Valentine’s Days but I’m ready for this one and many more to come because I am never swearing off love again. And for those of you who are single, Valentine’s Day does not need to be geared towards couples alone. Why don’t we celebrate all the different forms of love, whether it be the love of yourself, love of your significant other, or just a love of everyone who makes your day a little bit better? After all, love is love, so let’s celebrate it in all its wonderful forms.