As young adults living in a society so dependent on technology and social media, we have been a product of change. We wake up - check our phones, stop at a red light - check Instagram, sit on the toilet - check Facebook. But as a generation, we may be totally oblivious as to how these changes are affecting certain aspects of our lives. We could be headed down a very dark path. How does technology affect the quality of our relationships, the way in which we communicate love? And how are we affected later, when the butterflies die and we're left to deal with the bitter sting of lost love?
My parents, married 32 years, met during a walk-a-thon in 1974. When I asked them how they showed each other a grand gesture of love when they were young adults, they said that simply holding hands was enough. Keeping this is mind as a comparison, I struggle with the thought that this equivalent is posting a picture with your significant other on Instagram and getting over 50 likes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your significant other and sharing your love on social media. I've done it on many occasions. But why do we feel so good when over 60 people like our photos? A thought that I've had is that some people search for validation in their relationship by sharing a cute, posed photo with as many friends as possible. Instead of saying "this photo has 68 likes" it's like saying, "this photo has 68 seals of approval". When our friends like our photos, we feel a boost of self confidence and think to ourselves how lucky we are to be in the relationship.
Sometimes when I post these photos, I find myself wondering what other people think. Do they think we look good together? Do they think we look happy? Are they jealous of us? What is it about our constant desire to be seen? With social media so interlaced in our daily lives, it is only expected real relationships and real love (well, most of the time) become its products. We have all seen the negative side-effects of online relationships thanks to Nev Schulman, host of MTV's reality show "Catfish." But where is all of this headed? Perhaps to a world where emoticons show more love than a bouquet of flowers? My point is that although technology increases the amount of communication with others, it is perhaps devaluing our perception of true love.
So, how does this constant connection to others affect us when our love turns sour? While everyone deals with heartbreak differently, letting go is perhaps the most important key to moving on. But constant pictures of your ex popping up all over Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat probably make it pretty hard to forget the ones who made our hearts sing for so long. Nothing compares to the feeling of a ball of lead heavy in your stomach when you see your ex on Snapchat out at a party or with someone else. Social media makes us relive that feeling again and again. The only option left is deleting them completely from your life, which is not an easy feat for some. So social media has given us two grim decisions: deal with it or block everything. I think that when we go through these hard times, part of us just wants to just disconnect from the world to save some pain.
So as young adults living in the age of social media, we are challenged. We are challenged in our relationships, and we are challenged when our relationships are severed. But it is important to remember that technology does not mask our ability to love, feel loss, and get over loss. We are still as human as ever.
