Poetry On The Odyssey: It’s A Broken Heart Not A Broken Life

Poetry On The Odyssey: It’s A Broken Heart Not A Broken Life

We look for so much in other people but, in reality, what we are searching for has always been right here within ourselves.

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"There are many ways to die, but only love can keep you alive to feel it."

As it ran down my rosy red freckle covered cheek, thoughts of all the "love" we shared flooded my mind, all the trips to town to get you a soda, all the late night rides, storytelling, laughs, and random kisses. All of this thrown away with just one simple phrase. "I'm Done!"

As it dripped off my chin and feel towards the ground, Id bats my eyes and try to catch my breath. The pain striking through my chest was nothing like I had ever felt before. My head it hurts, my eyes they're giant puddles, and my throat is closed shut and locked up tighter than a prison. Leaving me with the simple feeling of nothing. A terrible awful nothing. How could all this nothing come from a feeling that was to me something?

As the red glass inside my beautiful china cabinet shattered into a million little pieces. I thought of the words said so often between us before this day. "I LOVE YOU" Each letter having a meaning so deep to me but, for you, I guess they were just simple eight letters used in three normal words said all around the world every day.

As the sun's color starts to darken and fall behind the hill, I sit here on this red pickup with streaked cheeks, mascara stained eyes, mouth empty of words and a head full of thoughts. The only thing repeating in my head is........ Why? Why were my eyes stained by mascara? Why was my mouth so empty of words? Why did I allow you to do this to me? Why didn't that last I love you to last forever?

As it comes to become complete darkness in my world I start to realize you weren't the light in my world. I was my light. You weren't the one cause me to breathe a little better every day. My strength was. You weren't the reason I skipped everywhere and smiled. My accomplishments were. I am strong without you. The only reason you existed and broke a little piece of my world is that you were a stray flower planted in the garden and made to represent something I had not yet learned.

As the darkness turns to light I start to see you wilting in my garden and I know that this will not ruin my world or my garden it will only strengthen it. You were something awful. Most of the time awful things and become something beautiful.

As it finally reaches the floors and the rest of them roll off my cheeks I see I am finally free from this world of yours and the clouds are officially gone from mine.

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On June 22nd I Celebrated My 22nd

*Insert cliche Taylor Swift song "22"*

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It's about time I turn 22. I've been told that after your 21st birthday, the years begin to fly past you in a blur. I don't know if I agree, but I can definitely say that I don't feel 22. Sometimes I look around at all the people who are freshmen in college, or juniors in high school, and I begin to reminisce about when I was their age. One thing getting older does do is make you a skeptical, cynical person.

I've thought a lot about my birthday as another day that I get to eat cake because let's face it, I'm not really here for anything else, except maybe a shot. I remember celebrating my birthday when I was younger was much different from what it turned into after I turned 20. Back in the day, I would celebrate my birthday with a pool party. Pizza, chips, cake, and soda. A few balloons and candles and that was it. I'd only invite my closest friends and we'd have so much fun.

I miss that kind of birthday. The kind you pick out an outfit for days prior, the kind you get so excited for and can't sleep, the kind that makes you feel special. It doesn't feel like that anymore. What it feels like now is, "welp, there goes another year." This line is also applicable to New Year's Eve, but we'll cross that bridge six months from now.

My birthday is pretty uneventful. It feels like the spark is gone, the excitement is gone. I wish I could feel happy that I'm turning 22, but I also know that it's just a reality that we all get older and things like birthdays begin to feel strange. You're faced to realize that you're supposed to have gained another year of experience and intelligence in the aspects of life, but it's almost like you feel the same.

It's safe to say that this has been a bit of an existential-crisis-themed birthday, but I'm just a little scared of getting older. I think we all reach a point where you realize you aren't invincible anymore. It's time to see what's in store for the future, what your career goals are, where you plan to move to after graduation, how to eat better, and how to feel like you've reached your full potential. It's a bittersweet moment in my life, but I'm ready to see what's next.

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