To the everlasting owner of my eternal affection,

I took everything about you for granted.

I hate myself. That is the first thing I want you to know. I turned my back on you, and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for abandoning you much more than you hate me for this unbidden display of blunt idiocy. You were my first love. Our first encounter was the most organic and comprehensive episode of love, at first sight, I can comprehend. I’m sorry, my precious skateboard, you didn’t deserve my foolishness.

The years spent with you in that forbidden romance will forever be my fondest memories, my highest high, my greatest blessing, and the most joy-filled moments of bliss in the sum of my experience.

To be entirely honest with you, I don’t know what happened for me to do what I did; there was no defining moment when I decided to put you aside. It was a time between receiving a driver’s license and becoming somewhat willing to follow the excessive pressures of being in my late teens. In the 20/20 hindsight, you were my identity. When together, everything was in perfect balance. When we separated, I was lost.

Though my stupidity never amazes me, the story between us will evermore have me shook. My time neglecting you was spent falling in and out of love with more corresponding heartache and grief during each affair than you have put me through in the years of our bond. Many times, in our active relationship, I was found to be sporting a cast or limp because of our days taking sour turns. However, I need you to know; those periods never hurt as bad as the anguish caused by struggling with the women of the past. I was also focused on my career, wearing blinders, I hope you would be proud of the moves I made; a dash of maturity taught me there is room for constant skate sessions within a profession.

I always knew you were the right decision. I never doubted I was wrong, but not for a day did it feel right. I have no excuse, no rationality or ability to express the feelings of shame and embarrassment. Just know that this is my heart trying to tell you how deeply apologetic I am. On your worst day, please try and understand my gratitude for not simultaneously turning your back on me.

What clouds my logic is how open you were to re-sparking this relationship. I fully understand it took you time to warm up to me; time was needed for the feeling to resonate once again. Considering the circumstances, you brought me back without a hesitation. The reasons of endearment you have shown me will never again be forgotten. I will never make that mistake again. I am a new and forever yours.

P.S. The savage things we did together in San Francisco are still the most delightful memories to loose sleep over.