I'm sorry all the days I sought perfection from you. I'm sorry for all the complaints I have issued about you over the years. I'm sorry for the dirty looks you've received from me. I'm sorry for all the bad words I have called you and the times when I insulted you. I'm sorry for telling other people how you weren't good enough. I'm sorry that I have made you feel unloved and unwanted.
You didn't deserve any of it.
You didn't deserve to feel unloved by me. Of all people, I should have cherished you. I should have lifted you up and let you know how much I appreciate you. After all, you do everything for me. Some people would be grateful to do half the things you can do and here I am complaining about a fully capable body. My mind can only want to walk or dance, but I need you to make it happen and you have without fail for almost twenty-one years. There are some things that you can't do yet, but that does not make you any less competent and efficient.
You have never failed me.
You have always been there for me. We have had ups and downs but in the end, you have never done anything wrong. I blamed you for any unwanted weight that I would see. But I forgot that I was the one that wanted the foods and you were just doing your job. I blamed you for any imperfections I saw such as stretch marks or cellulite, but it's not your fault. You didn't give me those things to punish me. It's natural, plenty of people have those things and yet I blamed you.
I don't always listen to you.
You've yelled at me several times but I have ignored you. Any pain that I have had was usually caused because I did not listen to what you were trying to tell me. You didn't deserve that either. You were only trying to warn me.
I did listen to the media though...
I listened and consumed everything that they told me was considered beautiful. Because of that, I put you down and hated you for years. I looked in the mirror and picked apart every little thing that I had that supermodel didn't or everything I didn't have that supermodels did. I let the media make me believe that you weren't beautiful. I let the media make me believe that my body would hinder my career and make me undesirable to a potential husband. I thought no one would find me attractive and I blamed you for that.
However, you never made me unattractive...
What did make me unattractive was my hatred towards you. It made me hide myself. It made me close up and not want to be looked at by anyone. It made me cold and distant. It made me sad and angry and most of that stemmed from my feelings about you. It made me look for validation in the wrong places when I need to look for it within myself. It made me waste years not seeing how wonderful you truly were for years.
But I know that now.
I know how beautiful you are. I see how much you do for me. I love you now. I couldn't say that for years. I didn't want to see you. Instead of trying to improve you I complained. I considered surgery to remove things or enhance them. But now I've decided that if I can't naturally change it, then I'm supposed to have it. I don't cringe at the thought of you anymore. I instead love you and work hard to make sure you know how much. I try to feed you good things and exercise so that you are in your best form. I don't put harmful things inside of you and I say nice things about you. You've been due for several compliments and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I don't care if other people don't see how gorgeous you are, I see it now, and I'm the most important person because we are together every single day.
I'm just happy I realized it now.
Now, while I'm still younger and I can appreciate you. I'm happy I didn't wait until it was too late to fall in love with you. I'm happy I can still use you and I didn't have to find out the hard way, that you were always there for me. Like all relationships, it's going to take work. I might have days where I revert back and lose confidence in you slightly. But I make you this promise, that I will never go to bed angry at you again. I might forget how great you are, but it will only be temporary. I will continue to love you and make you feel special. You are the only body I will ever have and quite frankly you are the best body I could ever ask for. Your job is to make sure that I survive life on Earth and you are the best at your job.
I love you,
I love you,
I love you!
Oh and thank you!