Recently, I have begun sharing my slam poetry with the world and thus, here we are! Today, I will be sharing a poem with y'all called "Self Love is a Joke Sometimes."

Sometimes, on my best days,

I forget that loving myself is important.

That food, water, and self-care are in the same category.

That if I had to give up one, I'd forget it even existed.

Maybe I already have.

I can't remember the last time I held myself

Or when I took a nap because sleeping at night

Has become a game I play with my bed

Called "8 hours or 8 seconds."

I hate myself on the worst days but

I accept that I said days, not months or decades.

Pain has to heal because if it didn't there would

Be no reason, no reason, for the word healing.

I am NOT just a chemical imbalance, I can't be

Just carbon and bad timing because

God decided I was better as a person than a dirt pile.

Self-love and survival aren't just blood in the same vein,

They are the vein.

And I am the body of a girl who must get an IV to know

Where that self-love is located.

But maybe today, I become a doctor and slice open

My veins and see where the love lies because I fear

It is no longer in my heart.

I will spend time researching my case and maybe I will discover

Some cure for when my brain can't love me back.