Love Isn't Always 50/50..

Love Isn't Always 50/50..

Surround yourself with people who balance you, not people who drain you.
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The most important piece of advice my Papa ever gave me, was that love isn't always 50/50.

"Some days your partner will only give 10, so you'll give 90. And you know that on the days you only give 10, your partner will give 90."

It seems so simple, but it couldn't be more true. Some days, we just don't have it. Maybe everything that could go wrong, did. Bad days happen, and we don't always have the energy to put forth the effort into our relationship.

That's life.

What makes your partner that, "perfect match" is when they give the 90 to make up for your 10, without hesitation.

If you find yourself constantly giving a bulk of the effort, most of the time that means you're not in the right relationship. Your balance is out there. The man, or woman, that will take care of you on your bad days, without hesitation, is out there.

Don't settle for someone who you don't have balance with. If you're constantly giving 90, after a while, you're going to get tired. You're only human. And that's okay.

It's okay to recognize that you deserve better.

This goes for friendships as much as relationships. If you're constantly putting in the effort in your friendships, it might be time to say 'see-ya.'

Surround yourself with people who balance you, not people who drain you.

My dad gave me this advice when I was 16, it only took me seven years to fully understand it. I can tell you from personal experience, once you figure this out,

the happier you will be.

































































Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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A Letter To My Best Friend's Future Husband

You're marrying me, too.
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Dear BFF's future hubby,

First of all, congratulations. You've caught one of the sweetest, most beautiful fish in the sea. But I don't need to tell you this. You already know she's a dime plus ninety-nine. Wifing her up is definitely the best decision you've ever made. Our girl (yes, she's mine too) is one of a kind. She's strong, smart and unbelievably caring. Her standards are pretty darn high, so you must be quite the man. If I had to guess, I'd say you're very tall and very handsome. You probably also dress extremely well and drive a nice car. Most importantly, though, I'm sure you're an awesome person who treats my best friend like the princess she is. Now that you two have tied the knot, there are a few things we should get straight.

You married me too.

Sorry to break it to you, but her and I are a package deal. Lucky for you, I rock so this is no biggie. You can expect daily phone calls and multiple visits throughout the week. Some of these visits may result in sleepovers, and some of these sleepovers may be in your bed. Deal with it. You'll learn to love me (almost) as much as you love her.

I'll be your go-to girl.

If you ever need advice or anything of the sort, I got you. I know this girl better than 99% of people so I'll be your main source of info until you reach my level of expertise. It's likely that I played a big part in planning out your engagement so you probably already know how good I am at this kind of stuff. If she's ever upset, call me up and I'll I'll tell you how screwed up and give and how to fix it. If you want to know how to surprise her, I'm your gal. Of course, all of this will be our little secret. You can take full credit for any of the ideas I give you.

If you hurt her, I'll cut your you-know-what off.

I know you won't, but this is something I'm kind of required to say.

I'm so glad she met you.


This is the most important thing I want you to know. I can only imagine how incredibly happy you make my best friend. She doesn't fall in love with just anybody, so I know you're special. You're the one. I can finally stop pretending to be her lesbian girlfriend when creepy guys hit on her at the bar. So thank you. Thank for making her laugh until she cries, for constantly reminding her of her effortless beauty, and for never saying "no" to the pair of shoes she wants. Thank you for proving me right all of those times I promised her there was a guy out there worth marrying.

I can't wait to meet you!

Sincerely,

Your future best friend-in-law

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To All The Boys I Loved Before

The act of getting over someone is never-ending, a constant and painful forgetting.

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i dabble in the art of illusions

pretending nothing penetrates my veil of apathy

that the people i once loved are just that: once loved, once ago

but the act of getting over someone is never-ending

a constant and painful forgetting

murdering the memory of something once held so dear

but now it means nothing at all

every boy i ever loved

has his own physical space in my head

their own colors and smells

always alive in an in-between state in my mind

after the beginning but before the end

this is how i cherish them:


i.

the first boy's color is orange and he smells like cheap cologne

there is not much else to say about him

except that young love feels so much more real when you are in it

but when it fades you are left with nothing save for

a trickle of embarrassment

and a firm decision never to repeat the same mistake

so thank you for teaching me to respect myself above everything

but fuck you for planting the first seed of wariness in my still genuine heart

and fuck you for everything that happened next


ii.

the second boy is red, vibrant and frantic, and he smelled of delicate ivory soap

everything with him was whirlwind passion

i was always crying—from happiness or frustration

when it became impossible to differentiate between the two i knew something was wrong

yet i stayed for the rapture

thinking "this is what it's like to be young and in love"

when really it was just being young and lost

and one day i woke up and the ardor had trickled to a vague interest

the fire that once crackled now coughed

and then fizzled into lethargy without any warnings

i struggled to explain to him that it wasn't him, it was me

and merely watched from the stands as he came completely undone

and that's when I realized that pain was alright

as long as it wasn't happening to me


iii.

the third boy is golden-brown, tender and inviting and he smelled of ocean shampoo and coffee

everything about him was sun-kissed: his hair, his soft skin, the warm embrace of his arms

i had grown accustomed to boys with calloused hands, hardened edges, and dark corners, as empty and cold as basements

yet he was open and bursting with light, as comfortable and intimate as a bedroom

until the dark in me had overcame his light

and his warmth dissolved into my cold: cold touches, loveless glances, spiteful words

until, at last, i snuffed out the last tendrils of his glow with my transgressions

let him cradle me in our bed while I burrowed into his chest and devoured his heart

i have regretted it ever since

we weren't compatible in most levels beyond physical

but he never deserved what i did to him and i'll always be remorseful

maybe one day things will be different but I fear his heart has hardened and it is far too late


these three boys taught me that broken people break people

and forced me to end that chain

before it was too late for me

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