Love Isn't Always 50/50..

Love Isn't Always 50/50..

Surround yourself with people who balance you, not people who drain you.

The most important piece of advice my Papa ever gave me, was that love isn't always 50/50.

"Some days your partner will only give 10, so you'll give 90. And you know that on the days you only give 10, your partner will give 90."

It seems so simple, but it couldn't be more true. Some days, we just don't have it. Maybe everything that could go wrong, did. Bad days happen, and we don't always have the energy to put forth the effort into our relationship.

That's life.

What makes your partner that, "perfect match" is when they give the 90 to make up for your 10, without hesitation.

If you find yourself constantly giving a bulk of the effort, most of the time that means you're not in the right relationship. Your balance is out there. The man, or woman, that will take care of you on your bad days, without hesitation, is out there.

Don't settle for someone who you don't have balance with. If you're constantly giving 90, after a while, you're going to get tired. You're only human. And that's okay.

It's okay to recognize that you deserve better.

This goes for friendships as much as relationships. If you're constantly putting in the effort in your friendships, it might be time to say 'see-ya.'

Surround yourself with people who balance you, not people who drain you.

My dad gave me this advice when I was 16, it only took me seven years to fully understand it. I can tell you from personal experience, once you figure this out,

the happier you will be.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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The Walls We Build

Sometime we don't realize they're there

All humans have a common ground: the desire to be loved. No one, despite what they might say, wants to be alone. We weren't meant to be, and we shouldn't settle for it. However, there may be reasons why we think or feel that being alone is easier or how we're meant to live.

Companionship is so important, but it can be difficult for some people. I personally feel like I would rather shove a firey hot branding iron down my throat before letting someone know everything about me and be that exposed. It's hard to do, but it is so necessary. We walk around carrying so much with us and knowing we have people to rely on and that we are not alone can make such a difference in our lives and overall happiness. Intimacy and being vulnerable with people is very underrated and sometimes underappreciated.

It's so much easier to put up walls between us and the people around us. Using humor as a defense mechanism, shying away from physical contact, and even just staying quiet in hopes of not being seen are all ways we avoid making connections with others. They're our fallbacks, but they shouldn't always be. We should find ways to be open, and in turn, gain confidence in who we are and what we stand for. Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength.

Though not everyone in the world will be super close to you and relate on a deeper level, there will be some people you meet who you do bond with. I am fortunate enough to still be best friends with my best friend from kindergarten. She is my rock. We've experienced everything together and through many stages of our lives: childhood, pre-teen years, teenage years, and now our twenties. Even though she spends most of the year going to school 693 miles away from Purdue, she has always been the closest person to me. She knows what I'm thinking before I think it, and I trust her with my life. I believe in soul mates, not just in a romantic way, but in a friendship kind of way, and that's what we have.

You'll never meet your friend soul mate, or any kind of soul mate for that matter if you're so guarded. Let your walls come down and have love in your life.

Cover Image Credit: Mikayla Workman

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