I use to fight every day in the hopes of finding a love so crazy it was worth fighting for. I would watch all the great love stories where they would always find their ways back to each other. That crazy I can’t live without you love was all I hoped for and it was the only thing I wanted. What I didn’t realize was that, that I can’t live without you love was far different than the this is so completely toxic and I’m so blinded by love that I can’t tell the difference between I can’t live without and being manipulated into thinking this was love. Love is hard, it takes time, patience and more importantly honesty, but most of the time the best loves are the easiest ones.
Time after time again, I allowed myself to consume myself in relationships that were one sided and by one-sided, I meant me giving everything and making up excuses for that person because I knew they had potential, but they just needed more time to show it. There is such a difference in making excuses for these people and really taking a step back to see that they probably do not want to be in this “relationship”. Knowing the difference between toxic and both mutually being crazy about each other is something that is so hard to decipher.
Basically, love can be all consuming you can fall madly in love in two days or 3 years, but it’s about the quality of that relationship that changes the tone of the entire relationship. I use to think making excuses for my significant other was enough to make them change and by giving them enough chances to mentally fuck me up was enough to make them see that I was in it for the long run, but in reality they didn’t really care and I was the one ending up in heart break and a fear of dating.
It wasn’t until I met my boyfriend now that I realized that love is always going to be hard, but it’s also very simple. A healthy relationship includes those fights, but those fights don’t make you feel like you’re the scum of the universe. A healthy relationship is easy, you don’t have to walk on eggshells to make this person happy and you don’t have to worry about what you might say might tick them off. A healthy relationship allows you to be yourself in all aspects and them enjoying that person just as much as you do. Love can be like the movies, but there is a difference that you have to see to make sure you’re not allowing yourself to be in a relationship that seems like you’re crazy about one another, but in reality, it’s really just crazy that you two are even together.
All in all, there needs to be distinctions made between “crazy for one another” and just plain crazy. If you find yourself making endless excuses on end for your significant other then I can guarantee that it’s not easy and this probably isn’t a relationship you should be in. Remember, love is patient and it most definitely kind and if you find yourself in a relationship where neither of these things hold true, then it’s time to move on because I can 100% know already you deserve better.
