I really loved you, I was in love with you. And then you broke me.

If I'm being honest I still love you, but I would never go back to you.

It's funny because with you I was hesitant about letting you into my heart and my life but from the moment I saw you in person my doubts started to fade. I saw the real you. Behind the nice body and dark eyes there was a guy with a beautiful soul. The way you looked at the world was something I've never experienced before. Nothing phased you. You took everything and put a positive spin on it and your positive energy was something I admired so much about you. It inspired me to be a better version of myself. I felt myself feeling lighter and freer with you by my side. We'd stay on the phone till three in the morning talking about everything under the sun. We always talked about the road trips we wanted to take together and the two in the morning drives to IHOP and Dennys we would take when we were hungry and couldn't sleep. And whenever we spent time together we'd create new inside jokes and share more laughs and smiles and I quickly had no doubts about us. I broke down all your walls and you broke down mine but neither one of us seemed to mind.

But then everything changed.

Life hit you hard with money and family issues and you started to change right before my eyes. Instead of leaning on me for love and support you started to push me away. You did it slow enough though that it felt like torture. Like every day another crack in the foundation of our relationship appeared. But all along you assured me that we were okay and I was what you wanted, you just had stuff you needed to go through first. And I gave you chances to prove that you were right and we'd be okay. But we weren't and as weeks went by that become crystal clear. You didn't care enough to fix things until it was too late. Well actually I truly believe you really did care about me, possibly even loved me but you didn't think you'd loose me so quick so you didn't bother showing it.

Ending things with you was one of the hardest things I've done in awhile and it hurt like hell; it still does. I've cried myself to sleep more times that I can count because you broke my heart. After I said I was done I didn't talk to you again but if I ever did speak to you again here's what I would say:

To the boy who broke my heart; I'm still doing me and living my life. I'm still smiling and laughing and hanging out with the people who actually deserve my presence. Once my heart heals I will move on to bigger and better things. You may have broken my heart but you didn't break me. I miss you like crazy but you'll be missing me later. You'll realize one day that I loved you the way you said you always wanted to be loved and you lost it. You'll regret not showing me how much I meant to you and always canceling plans on me. One day, you'll want me back and I'll be long gone. I don't regret you or what we had because you showed me a different view on life, you changed me in some ways and mostly because what we had was real until you ruined it.

So although you did make a huge mistake letting me go, I wish you nothing but the best...but you already had that.