Have you ever met a someone who believes that a relationship is supposed to complete them as a person? Or overheard certain phrases like “we complete each other” or “he’s my other half?” I don’t remember ever meeting half of a person. They were always themselves, filled with all their own vices and virtues. The things is, I believe that many people believe falling in love is supposed to complete them or even make them whole, but I don’t believe that is the case at all.
Depending on any human being to be the one defining thing in your life that will fix everything is cruel and honestly a load too heavy for any one person to carry. Romance and love are not supposed to help you reach your full potential. In fact, only you can do that yourself. I believe that two broken people or two "halves" of two different individuals that come together to complete each other are not in love, but dependent on one another like a drug addict and a drug dealer. On the other hand, two complete and whole individuals who decided to form a relationship can see things clearly for themselves.
They are developed as human beings and know what they will and will not accept from their counterpart because they know themselves and even if they split apart, they will not become a lesser person because of it but always remain the amazing person they always were. I remember having this theology teacher named Ms. Barr, and if my memory serves me correct, one day she was trying to explain to my class that if you need your significant other you do not love them. Some of my class did not agree with it and others did not understand, in general religion is always going to be a controversial topic, but despite being religious myself, I am pretty open minded. After thinking it over this is what I believe she was trying to say.
If you need someone, you keep them around not so much because you care about them, but because they are useful to you. In a way, you are using them to supply some deficiency in your life. Therefore, if you need them, you may never consider what they need and that may be not being with you. On the contrary, if you want someone you want to keep them close to you, but you understand that they are their own person, free to make their own choices and to be themselves. Wanting someone means you have a desire for them but that desire does not demand anything from that person like needing them would.
Wanting them allows you to acknowledge your feelings and realize that they themselves have a set of feelings of their own and that helps you to respect the choices they make in a relationship. I think that love and affection are wonderful things but they are not what makes you amazing. Chasing your dreams, speaking your mind and learning new things each and every day are the things that will fulfill you. Love does not create you, it adds to you. In figurative language, it’s not your check but your Christmas bonus. So for all those people out there waiting for love, I really hope it comes to you after you’ve found yourself and your heart is strong enough to love without fear or dependency.
