I Love Being Away At College, But That Doesn't Mean I Hate Being Home

I Love Being Away At College, But That Doesn't Mean I Hate Being Home

Personally, I prefer being at school because I love the independence that comes along with it. I have always considered myself relatively self-sufficient, and just enjoy being considered an independent person.

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Like many other incoming freshmen, I was terrified about starting college. I attended a very small private high school with a graduating class of around 80 girls, so I knew that coming to a big ten school, like Rutgers University, with an undergraduate class of about 3,000 kids spread across 4 campuses was going to be a huge adjustment.

Luckily, I live around forty minutes from campus, so coming into school I had planned on going home often, almost every weekend. My hesitance and fear of college quickly changed upon my arrival. The first couple days, pre-classes, are filled with different activities to get you acclimated and introduce you to new people, you're almost too busy to miss home, and that's exactly what I was.

I began slipping further and further away from my hometown, not physically, but mentally. My full focus was in New Brunswick and I loved being at school. I have always been close with my family, but I could notice myself not reaching out to them as much, or not keeping my sisters and mom as updated on my life as they wished they were. I was determined to change this over winter break, updating my family on my life at school and just generally spending more time with them.

Upon my arrival back to school, I started talking to more and more people about what it felt like to be home for a month. Personally, I prefer being at school because I love the independence that comes along with it. I have always considered myself relatively self-sufficient, and just enjoy being considered an independent person. I wasn't shocked to find out that many people are like me, and they prefer being at school, not only are they more independent, but their schedules are more jam-packed and life is just a little more exciting than being home.

I also spoke to some people that expressed judgment towards people that love being away at school. Comments about how excited people were to be back or Instagram posts about how much they missed their schools were met with "What? Do you hate your family?" or comments such as "Wow your home life must be pretty horrible if you actually prefer being here." Not only are these comments, hurtful and disrespectful, but they're also just completely wrong. Just because someone loves being at school does not mean they hate being at home.

You can have an amazing relationship with your family and still generally prefer being away at school. College gives you the option to explore your interests and find what you love. For most it is a chance to grow as a person, so frankly judging someone just because they are enjoying where they are in life is unneeded. And maybe rather than asking yourself why this person loves their school so much, you should ask yourself why you don't.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I Can't Decide If Working While Being A Full-Time Student Is A Struggle Or A Reward

School, work, 2 hours of sleep, repeat.

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Don't get me wrong, working in college is good. It gives you a little bit of spending money and teaches you responsibility, but at the same time, it sucks. You have to go to class all day long and turn around and work all night long.

Most nights, I have to close at work so I am there all afternoon and all night. If I have a big test to study for, I have to come home after work and try to stay up long enough to do a cram session. It is absolutely exhausting. After you stay up all day and then all night, it makes you tired the next day. It is a constant cycle of being tired...and I am tired of it.

Even though working while you're in college sucks, it has its perks. I get that extra money that I would not have if I didn't have a job. I would not be able to get the things I want when I want. I can buy all the Starbucks drinks I want and not have to think twice about it.

On a more serious note, it teaches me how to manage things. I have a set schedule or try to at least, to follow by each week. I am taught to be on time and to be more aware of my schedule and due dates. Thank goodness for my planner.

Another perk is that I met one of my best friends at work (she's the one pictured above). It is fun to have a friend that you can do everything with. We are the same major and soon to be at the same job....again.

It's also great to have a study buddy while I am at work. I help Lela and Lela helps me. It also doesn't hurt that I get to complain about all the people at work and she actually knows who I am talking about. Lela makes both working and going to school a little easier on me.

At this point, I can't tell if working is more of a struggle or a reward. Some people don't have jobs and I know that, but I am still grateful for mine.

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