My Husband Didn't Sweep Me Off My Feet, Instead He Offered Me A Safe Place To Plant Them
Start writing a post

My Husband Didn't Sweep Me Off My Feet, Instead He Offered Me A Safe Place To Plant Them

As Valentine's Day approaches many of us are excited, some are sad and others confused.

My Husband Didn't Sweep Me Off My Feet, Instead He Offered Me A Safe Place To Plant Them
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

My husband has put up with me stealing the covers for nine years. This doesn’t exactly merit his ordination into sainthood, but I do think it deserves a standing ovation. Before I was married I went through a series of bad relationships. Really bad relationships that would make an awesome reality show. In my sillier moments, I like to refer to these relationships as the loser, the thug, and the clinger. Nearly a decade later, I sometimes still feel foolish for being a part of these relationships, yet I never regret them.

It took years to understand that without those bad relationships, I would never have recognized a good one. When Kevin (my husband) entered my life, so did a great friendship that was full of the communication my past relationships lacked. Our friendship didn’t consist of borders or games. We were one hundred percent open and honest with each other.

We were two individuals lacking in the posturing so many people portray during courtship. I never wondered why he didn’t call or text me- I simply asked and he answered. We didn’t flirt around missing each other; he was my friend and I was his-we simply told each other.

Heather: “Hey, I kind of miss you today.”

Kevin: “Of course you do, I’m awesome.”

Heather: “You’re tolerable, come over.”

Kevin (snorts): “You like me.”

Without the games, posturing, and borders (walls we put up to avoid getting hurt), we became best friends and love inevitably blossomed.

Now, I won’t have you believe we had the perfect relationship, or it lacked in drama because sadly, that’s not true. Our relationship was filled with its problems, especially in the beginning with both of us leaving long-term relationships. We both had people trying to pull us in opposite directions. But there was one simple thing that held us together during every rough patch-each other.

My husband didn’t sweep me off my feet, instead he offered me a safe place to plant them.

The harder people tried to pull us apart, the harder we held on to each other. Practically ten years later, I still can’t imagine my life without my him.

As a married woman, sometimes it’s a bit exasperating to see the struggles of single people. Again, Kevin and I do not have the perfect relationship. Truth be told yesterday we were mad at each other (I was right and he was wrong). I’m also not a professional relationship counselor, but sometimes seeing a situation from the outside makes it easier to identify the flaws of execution. Need me to break it down plainer? Okay here it goes: I see what you’re doing wrong and honey child you need help.

Instead of making a detailed analysis for you to pour over, I’ll leave a list of do’s and don’ts for the initial stage of the relationship or the “talking” stage.


DO be honest and upfront about what you want

DO drop barriers (no one can love someone that’s trapped behind baggage)

DO get to know the man/women (not gossip)

DO bring him/her to your family (they can spot a loser a mile off)

DO follow your heart but listen to your mind (sometimes we talk ourselves out of awesome things and sometimes we save ourselves from bad situations – be smart and make decisions you can live with)

DO know your self-worth (You’ll get out what you put out. If you put out as a side chick, you’ll never be anything other than a side chick, not a wife, not a friend just someone’s secret.)


Don’t pretend to be anything other than what you are. (How can someone love a fake you?)

Don’t MOVE THE PERSON IN (ladies, he’s not homeless, you’re insane – stop falling for this)

Don’t get mad if you can’t meet their kids after date 3 (there is NO magic number as to when a person is comfortable with you meeting their kids. Fall back and stay in line, people are crazy nowadays, if a mom/dad is cautious they have a right to be.)

Don’t listen to the person’s exes (they’re either salty, jealous, or genuine and unfortunately unless you are genuine friends with an ex you can’t always trust their opinion)

Don’t listen to the advice of memes (these are funny, not factual)

Each bit of advice I give is based on relationships and struggles I’ve observed over the years. No advice is given with the intent of hurting feelings or crushing expectations. All advice is given out of love and the hopes you find your happily ever after. Most days I think I found mine, but he may say something different, after all, I do hog the covers.

Report this Content
What College Girls Remember from their Summers as a Kid

Yes, summer is almost here.. so what should we remember

Keep Reading... Show less
The 100 Things Millennials have ruined: A Comprehensive List

Millennials: the generation everyone loves to hate. The babies of 1980 to 1995 take a lot of heat. I mean, we inherited a crashed economy, earn stagnant wages, live with crippling student loan debt, and try to enact change in a rigged system but our affinity for avocado toast and use of technology has wrecked society as we know it! As a tail end millennial, I wanted to know what I was ruining and, like any other annoying millennial would, I did some research. I scoured the internet, read online newspapers and scrolled through every listicle I could find. So, in case you needed another reason to resent the millennial in your life, here are the 100 industries we've killed, things we've ruined or concepts we've destroyed.

Keep Reading... Show less

Anxiety Doesn't Discriminate

This month, Odyssey brings about awareness & normality to conversations around mental health from our community.

Anxiety Doesn't Discriminate

It's no secret that even in 2018 our country still struggles with discrimination of all kinds. Society labels individuals by the color of their skin, heritage, religion, sexuality, gender, size, and political beliefs. You are either privileged or you're not. However, here's the thing, anxiety doesn't care about your privilege. Anxiety doesn't discriminate.

Keep Reading... Show less
College Boy Charm is Real and it's Very Sexy

After surviving a year of college and watching "Clueless" countless times, I've come to the conclusion that college boy charm is very much a real thing and it's very very attractive. It's easiest explained through Paul Rudd's character, Josh, in "Clueless". The boy who has a grip on his life and is totally charming. In this article, I will list the qualities of a specimen with College Boy Charm, to help you identify him at your next party or other social events.

Keep Reading... Show less

Tik Tok Stars: Worth the Hype? or Overrated?

As Tik-Tokers rise to fame, do their 'copy-cat' dances deserve the clout?

Tik Tok Stars: Worth the Hype? or Overrated?

Oh, the wonders of social media. Trends come and go just as quick as a story on Instagram, everyone posting for their shot at fifteen minutes of fame, and the ever growing following of a new type of celebrity- social media influencers and content creators. Everyone who owns a smartphone probably has Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and now Tik-Tok, as it's growing to be a major social media platform for teenagers and young adults. Tik Tok became popular in the United States in late 2019 and since then has grown a considerable amount. Personally, I was one to make fun of Tik-Tok and say it was a dumb app like or Triller, and now months later, I spend more time on it than I do on Instagram.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments