In our generation, it’s not uncommon to feel like we aren’t good enough. Maybe not just good enough for someone else, or something else, but for ourselves even. There is a large lack of self-respect and love, and I know just as well as you do that you and I have both felt this way before, if not every single day of our lives. It’s hard to wake up each morning with a smile on your face despite the hardships you go through on a daily, I get that. I was the same way for the longest time. Self-depression caught up to me and I was always pretty hard on myself, thinking my weight wasn’t good enough or my height wasn’t good enough or whatever else I could think of. We all can be that way, and even some of my best friends constantly put themselves down. I think now’s a great time to start teaching each other to love ourselves. It’s always been a great time, but now more than ever. Here are ten simple steps to take to get on the path to loving yourself.
1. Love who you are- Imperfections and all.
Most people save the best for last, but I’m going to be upfront about this one because it’s truly the most important step of them all. Loving yourself is hard, I understand. There are always things we would like to change about ourselves. Our hair color, our bodies, you get the point. One thing you need to hear not just today but every day is that you are amazing and beautiful the way you are. There IS only one you, and while you sit there wishing to have what someone else has, that same person probably wishes they could have what you have. We need to understand that it’s okay to like another hairstyle and to change our hair if we’d like, or our clothing style or whatever else, but we should still love our own hairstyle because it’s unique and it fits us. That’s an example, of course. Love who you already are, regardless of the changes you wish to make about yourself. If you tell yourself three things you love about yourself every morning, you’ll just feel better throughout the day. Recall all the compliments people have given you, others are good at seeing what we don’t see in ourselves.
2. Constantly remind yourself you are good enough.
“I’m not good enough for her/him.” “I can’t get that job, there’s too much competition.” “There’s no way I’ll ever be able to afford that.” You don’t need to physically tell yourself you aren’t good enough to have engraved it into your mind. There are many little doubts you give yourself each day that have convinced you that you aren’t good enough. It’s time you cut it out. You CAN win that girl/guy over, you CAN get that job, you CAN afford that. You have to learn how to set your heart on something and remind yourself what you’re capable of- that is anything. Nobody in history got anywhere by saying they couldn’t do something or weren’t good enough for someone. You are good enough, because you are a human. Humans have been able to do some crazy things and if others are capable of those things, you are too. Nothing is stopping you but yourself. You are ALWAYS good enough.
3. Strive to make yourself happy.
Quit thinking about your weight and go buy yourself a damn ice cream cone if you feel like it. Seriously, you need to do things that will make yourself happy! Look out for yourself and don’t do something just because it’ll make someone else happy. Worry about yourself first. There are times when it’s okay to put someone else before yourself, but normally I believe you should do what’s best for you. It’s common sense to know good from bad and how to go about certain situations. If someone really wants you to do something but you know you will feel bad about it later, don’t do it. Simple as that. But if you want to do something nice for yourself every once in awhile, go for it. If there are places you want to go, go. Quit thinking about what others will do or think and be who you are and do what you’d like to do. It’s okay to think about yourself.
4. Surround yourself by people who make you feel good about yourself.
This one is crucial, and we can all name friends of ours that put us down. I have friends that put me down. Don’t spend your time with these people. Spend time with the people that will lift you up, those friends that tell you what clothes look good on you and those friends that will always tell you how beautiful you look no matter how messy your hair is or what clothes you’re wearing. Surround yourself with people that love you for who you truly are, not the people that try to change you. Criticism can go both ways. If someone hurts your feelings, why deal with the negativity? Go out with the friends that love shakes as much as you do. Spend time with friends that will tell you you still look beautiful even if you are sick and laying in bed all night. If you have negative friends but don’t know how to separate yourself from them in a nice manner, just explain to them that the things they do or say are negative and you don’t want that. You only deserve the best of the best. In fact, you are the equivalent of the four people you spend the most time with. Imagine what that does to you if you are spending your time with negative people who put you down.
5. Make good choices- Ones you’ll be happy with.
Do you ever have plans and think to yourself, “Wow, I’m gonna hate myself in the morning.” Maybe you buy something with money you don’t have, or make decisions that could throw you down a rocky path. Make sure that you are putting some thought into your choices. Do what’s best for you. If you’re unsure about a decision and do not know if it’s a good idea or not, wait for a bit and put some more thought until it until you have an answer that is more clear. Making decisions and choices are difficult at times, so it’s important that you focus on them.
6. Set goals for yourself and follow through with them.
I can’t tell you how often I think to myself, “There’s no way that I’ll ever be capable of that.” At the same time, though, anything I have set my mind to, I have accomplished. Even if you have a goal or a dream that seems impossible, I encourage you to aim for it and work hard to achieve it. More than likely, if you want it bad enough, you can get there sooner or later. Don’t give up when things get rough, because nothing that’s worth anything will ever be easy. Get used to setting the bar a little higher than what you think is possible, and when you reach your goals, you’ll feel confident and invincible. Plus, why not become the person you’ve always wanted to be? The only thing that is ever going to truly stand in your way is yourself.
7. Never set the bar too low.
Somewhere along the lines, we need to start believing in ourselves. We need to quit settling for what we have and aim for things we actually genuinely want. If you really want to be a part of this team or that organization, go for it and go for it with confidence. Do you have something you want to accomplish? Go above and beyond because you don’t know that you won’t do better simply because you aimed for better. You never have a clue what you are capable of until the day you try it, and you are capable of anything and everything. An example of setting the bar too low would be if I had even the slightest feeling I could make a varsity team, but settle for junior varsity. This isn’t okay. By settling for less, we are also not using our capabilities to our fullest potential, and therefore we are not doing our very best. Each one of us wants to be the best we can, right? So the ONLY way to accomplish that is by getting out of our comfort zone and going after more.
8. If you feel like something needs to change, start right away.
The whole “I’ll start tomorrow” is complete BS. I’ll be the first to tell you that if you want something, quit waiting because you’ll find yourself waiting forever. If you want to go get a nicer and healthier body, start working out and eating healthy tonight, not after your “last bowl of ice cream”. If you think you need to change something about yourself such as the way you handle certain situations, now is the time. The faster that you change, the better things will tend to get for you. Sensing that changes need to be made is a way of your mind telling you that you are not happy with the way you are living. When this happens, you tend to break all of the rules of loving yourself such as self respect. Today is the day to begin your changes, and when you get into the routine of your new lifestyle, then you will have more sense of who you truly are and what you are capable of. Make sure that if there’s anything you want, you aren’t putting it off. Go for it right away before you lose all motivation, or before someone else gets the chance before you do. Regardless of what it is, the only thing stopping you is yourself.
9. Remind others how special they are.
Yeah, you may think that this has nothing to do with your personal happiness and achievements, but it really does. Making people feel good will make you feel even better. Spread the love in this world that you think this world needs, which I would hope is a lot. Give to those who don’t have much, hold people close, and never go a day without telling the people you care about what they mean to you. We never know when our last day on Earth will be, so every day should be treated like the last. Even if you get into a fight with your friends, it’s not worth the pride. It’s crucial, and I mean so so crucial that we understand that spreading love means being loved. It can really impact someone's day, week, month, or even their life.
10. Respect yourself.
It’s one thing to take photos of yourself and present your body to make yourself feel confident, but you can feel confident without having to show nudity. Self-respect often shows through photos, in my opinion. A person can have a lot of self respect in person, but very little when it comes to social media. There are plenty of men and women that I know that are wonderful, professional people, yet their social sites are filled with cleavage, shirtless photographs, and unnecessary things similar to. Self Respect doesn't just lie within photos, though, but in the way we present ourselves. Respecting yourself is really the key to loving yourself, because if you truly love yourself, you won’t feel a need to be disrespectful towards yourself simply because you are happy with who you are already. You won't feel a need to show off your body, or do things that you aren’t physically and morally comfortable with. This life is all about you, and your happiness. Self respect can lie within the events you attend, such as parties. Don’t get shitfaced and then try to convince your peers you “aren’t usually like that” because that’s not very reliable and respectful. It’s all pretty self-explanatory, and if you aren’t respecting yourself, you will be able to feel it in a deep part of your heart.
Those ten ways are truly the best ten ways to love yourself. Oh, and if nobody has told you yet today…
