Like most, in high school I had little to no self esteem. I was constantly in fear of what everyone was saying or thinking about me. Looking back on it, I was miserable. I was always worried about my appearance, my relationships, and mostly how I was perceived through other people’s eyes. It became draining and is still something I struggle with.
However, the summer going into my sophomore year of college was really the time when I decided that I deserved better for myself. I deserved better relationships with my friends, my family, and myself. I started reflecting on everything that had happened in my past and how I wanted to change going forward. My number one change I wanted to make was to be more confident. On my way to doing this I came to a few realizations.
First, you can’t change the way you look.
Well I mean, you can but surgeries can be expensive and I personally believe that it’s better to come to be happy with who you are and how you look. Just because you might not be that size zero model you see on Instagram or have the same facial features as Selena Gomez, doesn’t mean you don’t have desirable features yourself. Happiness comes from confidence and confidence comes from within. If wearing makeup makes you confident, wear make up. If working out makes you feel good then work out. But don’t wear make up to impress anyone and don’t work out to reach a certain weight or body type.
Second, you don’t have to be friends with everybody.
My family always told me this growing up and I never understood exactly what it meant until this year. If someone doesn’t make you a better person or bring anything valuable to the table, you are not obligated to keep them in your life. This doesn’t mean you have to be rude, or mean, or spiteful towards them. This just means that you don’t need to maintain relationships that don’t bring positive energy to you. Holding on to negative people and toxic friendships will do nothing but make you stressed out. You will find yourself much more confident knowing that the friendships in your life are true rather than worrying about people talking behind your back.
Third, do what you want.
Go with your gut and do what you want. Worrying about what others think is something that holds many people back from doing what they want. If you want to wear a revealing top out on the weekends, do it. Because ultimately who cares what that random girl says about you. Does her opinion matter if you feel comfortable and confident? No. Nobody’s opinion should stop you from doing what you want in the moment.
Lastly, be your own biggest fan.
Its okay to look in the mirror and say “I look good today.” It’s okay to find things you love about yourself and emphasize them. You have awesome qualities about yourself, whether they are physical or personality traits. Take time to discover what you love about yourself and think about those things when you are feeling negative about something else.
You obviously can’t get rid of all of your insecurities but these are the things I focus on to make sure they don’t consume me and hinder my daily life. You are more than good enough. You are the best you there is. Embrace that and celebrate it.
