For as long as I can remember, aka middle school, I’ve had really bad hiccups that come every single day. I usually have two or three hiccups at a time and then they’ll go away for a bit and come back. They’re loud and quite annoying but I don’t know why they happen that way.

I never really had a problem with them in school except in sixth grade when my science teacher told me that I had to say “excuse me” every time I hiccuped, which was quite often. When I refused, since it wasn’t something I could control, she sent me out of the classroom because I was a ”disturbance to class.”

Every other teacher that I had in high school and college never saw my hiccups as a problem. Some would acknowledge them while others would completely ignore them as if they didn’t happen. One of my teachers would call me “flipper” because he said it sounded like a noise a dolphin would make. I’ve also had people tell me that it sounds like a goat, a squeaky toy, and an exotic bird.

During one year in high school, I tried to keep track of how many times I would hiccup throughout a day. The number varied every day but it was always greater than 20.

I always find it funny when I’m around new people and it happens because it scares the shit out of them. A lot of people jump and ask what that was and when I explain that it’s hiccups, they’re shocked that the hiccups are so loud and persistent.

I went to the doctor once to try to figure out why it happens and why it hurts sometimes but they couldn’t figure it out. I had a couple tests done and they all came back clear. While I could get more tests, I think I might just have to accept that I’ll make obnoxious noises for a long time.