The world has lost another musical legend, another creative genius, another beautiful soul.
When I first heard the name Mac Miller, I was a hater. I slept on his music for so long. In my head, he was just a goofy college-rap dude, and I didn't think he had anything profound to say.
After experiencing my first serious break-up with my high school girlfriend, I felt incredibly lost. I had nowhere to place the pain; I was left clinging to something that wasn't there anymore.
Have you ever heard people describe their sadness or depression as slowly drowning while everyone around them effortlessly kept their head above water? That's exactly how I felt.
Instead of clinging to something that technically no longer existed, my relationship, I thought about what I still had. Of course, I had my family, but I wasn't fully out of the closet to all of them, so I didn't know who to turn to. I had friends, but I was so depressed that I didn't want to talk to anyone.
The one thing that I had was music.
For some reason, I began to download a bunch of hip-hop and rap mixtapes. I'd always been a fan of rap music, but this was my first real trip down the rabbit hole.
And, you probably guessed it, but one of those rappers that I eventually tried out that summer was Mac Miller.
At the time, he'd only released three albums. My first favorite song that I listened to on repeat was "Blue Slide Park" off of the album by the same name. Mac's music still gave off a fun vibe, but I ditched the haterade and listened closer. His wordplay and flow instantly appealed to me, and I did an incredibly mediocre job of attempting to emulate him.
Further down along the track list I found "Of The Soul". I remember being swept away by the opening melody, and instantly hitting repeat when I heard the lush lo-fi synth in the background. I couldn't describe what was happening in my head. This is going to sound dramatic, but what I was hearing was some kind of sonic divinity.
Some people claim to hear God speak. I heard Mac Miller.
His music came into my life at just the right time, when I needed it the most.
To this day, he's one of my biggest influences as an artist and creative person. His music gave me a sense of freedom to be myself, the confidence to pull myself back up off of the floor, and someone to relate to.
I could go on and on, listing all of my favorite Mac songs and why I love them. But that's not really important. I highly recommend listening through his entire discography; this world has truly lost a creative genius.
You'll be able to tell that he wore his heart on his sleeve, yet he still felt misunderstood. That's probably why I connect with his music so much.
His latest album, "Swimming" (2018), blatantly hints at his sadness and addiction. There's been obsessive media coverage over his break-up with Ariana Grande and how she left him because she couldn't handle his behavior anymore. Another source cited that Mac's last Instagram story included morbid lyrics about passing away.
He's been talking about life and death forever.
"Never scared of death, but I ain't ready for that day to come
A million people in the world, I don't hate one." - One Last Thing
It's clear that people leave signs when they're in emotional distress. As much as he denied his problems, Mac Miller was calling out for help. He needed to be comforted.
"And I'm a pro when it come to my job
But really, I'm just tryna start believin' in God." - 2009
Dear Mac,
I really hope that you've been comforted by God or whoever's up there.
This weekend and forever, I'll be bumping your music.
