Losing a parent at a young age is not only heartbreaking, but it changes everything about you. It is not necessarily a "bad" thing, though.
1. You will never be the same.
Some will change for the better, but some will be mentally scarred forever. Sounds harsh, but it is so true.
2. You'll always wonder, "What if?"
I know I always do this. I always wonder in certain situations, "What if my dad was alive? Would this situation have turned out differently?"
3. You'll get jealous of your friends when they get to go out and do things with the parent you do not have anymore.
You ask your friend, "Hey what are you doing today?" and they go, "Oh...well I am going to the mall with my [mom or dad] today." And you sit in silence as your mind wanders and heart falls to your stomach.
4. You will always get awkward when a stranger asks anything involving both parents assuming they are still alive because you're so young.
"Should I tell them one died? How they died? Do they need to know? Should I just let them think I have two parents?" The struggle.
5. There is not a day that goes by that they do not cross your mind at least once.
Some days are easier than others when it comes to thinking of them, but it is a good feeling to just remember them and to know they are not completely gone to you. They are physically but not mentally.
6. Some days are more frustrating than others.
On days when you have a big exam, a big break-up, or even your just in your feelings that day, you'll really want to call your parent that day when you can't. Just know that they are there watching it all happen, you're not alone.
7. It's great to talk about the good times when they were still present, even if that is making fun of them of course.
I mean, they are still your parents. You have to make fun of them once and a while. You would not be their kid if you didn't. They would understand.
8. The big major holidays will try to tear you down, but you gotta stay strong.
Birthdays, Christmas, Mothers or Fathers Day, Graduation, College. Those days will hurt the worst, but you gotta keep that smile going because if they were on this earth physically, you would not be crying, would you?
9. You will get so angry seeing one of your friends disrespecting their parents.
No one understands what losing a parent is like until it actually happens. Sometimes you have to hit your friends with that line to get them to straighten up. Disrespecting your parents is so overrated, whether they deserve it or not, they made you and you would not be on this earth without them.
10. Let's face it, it does not get easier. You just get used to the feeling of not having them around.
Losing a parent is one of the toughest things anyone could ever go through, especially when you're young. Never take your parents for granted, because life is short. My dad and I have never had the best relationship, but he was a Godly man, I'd say. He had some struggles most of his life with addiction and that got in the way of a lot of things with our family. That did not mean I had the right to disrespect him, but I did. My dad always wanted me to go to church with him when he visited; however, I refused. I refused to go out in public with him, or to just even be remotely around him. I was a mean teenage girl with no heart. Now looking back on it, I am disgusted with myself. My dad visited throughout the years, and I had some good moments with him but most of them were terrible moments. All because I was stubborn. I wish I could take everything back but God did all of this for a reason.
Now, a fact that you need to know is, as a child, I did not grow up in a Christian home (if you could not already tell). I had no idea who God was until the age of 13. I always remember seeing a Bible on the end table in my living room with a thin sheet of dust on the top, and asking my mom every time I saw it what it was and why there were so many pages. She never answered me. Ever since I saw that unused Bible, I was curious. When my dad moved away, he became born again with Christ. He found God, and he changed. Every time he came home to visit, he always nagged my brother and I to go to church with him. Of course, the answer we gave him was “No.” Now, going back to when I lost all of my friends when my dad passed, I was lonely.
From then on, I always wondered why my dad wanted me to go to church, and why all of a sudden he was into the whole “God thing.” So one day I found a Bible, read the first page, and closed it. Nothing happened. I was expecting this miraculous thing to occur that did not happen. A few weeks later, I decided to go to church with a friend one day to see if anything would happen, and all I have to tell you about what happened on that day was that I got saved. My whole being changed without me even being aware of it, and I had such a more positive outlook on life. I was not lonely anymore because I had Jesus. I knew that with Him, my life had meaning, because He died specifically for me. I had grown into Christ, but not like I wanted to due to my lack of knowledge.
That is why I decided to go to Geneva College, to have that one-on-one experience with Him and with other believers. Life is real and painful at times, but God is good. All the time. My dad's passing opened my eyes to faith and showed me who I was meant to be.
