Scenario: Picture one of the people you care most about in your life. This can be a friend, family member, significant other, or whoever it is to you personally. Now, imagine that tomorrow, they will wake up and decide to never talk to you again. Without any warnings or explanations.
If you are like me in this situation, you will probably wonder what to do? Who do you hang out with? Who are you going to call when you just want to be with somebody else? It’s hard to imagine, and I truly hope that you never experience it.
Unfortunately, this is a situation I am all too familiar with. One of the people that I loved the most decided that they did not want to be in my life anymore without the slightest warning or sign. It’s a harsh reality that overtime, you simply come to terms with. I mean, you have to. Some days are good, some are downright terrible. But, loss in all forms is simply a part of life.
How It Feels: From talking with friends and so many different people who care about me, it is easy to realize rather quickly that it is hard to understand this type of loss unless you have gone through it. It’s not like a literal death for the sheer reason that the person is still alive and well. But, they are dead to you in that all contact has seized, along with the relationship. But not necessarily the feelings.
Sometimes, days are really great. Either you do something fun, have an awesome day at work or just get to be with people who make you happy. In a sense, life is distracting you from your loss at those moments and shifting your attention to more worthwhile causes. But then there are other days when you are alone, looking through old pictures on Facebook and trying to hold back the tears for the part of your life that has “passed away.”
You wonder what you could have done differently. You wonder if you said the wrong things or made mistakes. It is hard to toss these ideas in your mind day-after-day and get no answers. Time is never wasted, but it can sure feel like you wasted a significant portion of your time and life on someone who could not care any less about you. Sometimes love and relationships are temporary. Life is so complex that it is hard to understand why anything happens the way it does. Especially when it's not the way we want it to be.It really is a battle. Some days are harder than others, but every day is aimed to being stronger, better and happier. Often easier said than done, though. Believe me, I’ve been there. I know the feelings. It sucks. No way around it. Overtime, the feelings will dull. Your anger becomes indifference. Questions will be left unanswered, explanations never explained. It’s a mystery, but you have to overcome it.
To Those Who Have Gone/Are Going Through It: You will be okay. There are so many other people that love you and care about you. One aspect of being human that is very difficult to overcome is the inability to see into the future. With a world of technology and instant access, patience is more of a virtue now than ever before. Better times will come your way. After all, there is no rainbow without a storm.
Keep your head up and be proud of who you are. You cannot live your life waiting for a single person to finally approve of you or desire you. Life life for yourself: do what makes you happy, not what you believe someone else wants to see for you. The present is worth so much more of your time than looking back to the past, too. Sometimes, this is easier than it is other times. But, each day it will become easier until the person no longer crosses your thoughts.
Keep moving forward. You got this. You have so many people on your team that losing a weak link should not hinder your happiness and life.
Sincerely,
Someone who’s been there
