I have a confession to make. I, Kaitlyn, am a to-do "list-aholic." I live and breathe off of an organized list explaining how my day should go. I wake up and immediately think of all the things I need to do. I go to sleep dreaming of all the things I forgot to do. I like to plan my life out to the last and final detail. College quickly turned my once simple organized to-do list into an infinite amount of chaotic to-do lists floating anywhere and everywhere. I turned into a stressed out monster. I honestly prayed for an IV of coffee some days. While I didn't get the IV of coffee, I did gain some beautiful clarity and understanding about the beauty of an unplanned life.
I'm not saying I dropped every to-do list I ever made, because that would just be insane, but I did change what was on my to-do list. Instead of planning out every minute of my day, I gave myself some time to take a bubble bath, catch a Netflix movie, or on those rare, special days, get a good ole nap in. I stopped feeling like I had to say yes to everyone and I finally started saying yes to me. Slowly but surely, I realized that when my life didn't follow a scheduled to-do list, I actually had time to enjoy some sweet spontaneous serenity (say that three times fast!).
I had time for myself.
Instead of my “me time” being me on the verge of tears thinking about what I hadn’t finished that day, my time was spent snuggled with soft blankets and Diet Coke. I had time to turn off my phone and enjoy the sound of silence. I could journal, I could make a cake, I could even just stare at the wall. When I threw out that to-do list, I could do whatever I wanted.
I had time for others.
When your life is constantly on the move, your relationships begin to fade away. I read "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" a few years ago and the author described how we have personal relationship banks. Just as we expect others to fill us up, we have to fill others up as well. When I stopped scheduling every minute of my life, I understood the beauty and the fresh air that comes from a good, true friend.
Most of all, I realized how important family is.
I’m incredibly close to my family, so leaving home is tough sometimes (okay, all the time). During some of my most dramatic breakdowns because of silly things I was stressing about, there was nothing more comforting than the sound of my parents' voice reminding me that I was okay. My life wasn’t over because I had writer’s block or because I was sleep deprived or because I didn’t make a 100 on my last test. A phone call home will always trump my to-do list.
The next time you’re stressing out about the to-do list staring straight at you, rip up the piece of paper and enjoy the freedom that life offers. Take a nap, play with puppies, listen to Taylor Swift and remind yourself that you are not defined by a to-do list.
