“People say you don’t know what you’ve got till it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.”

I’ve heard and seen this quote a million of times before, but never really realized how true it actually is. When I lost my grandfather (Papa) two months ago, I surely did realize how true this two-sentence, 25-word quote actually is.

Growing up, my papa lived right around the corner from me; he was always there. He made sure he was the first person in the pickup line after school. He gave me rides wherever I needed one. He played baseball with me in the backyard. He came to every one of my dance recitals. He taught me how to drive, and he was always waiting on my porch after school. My papa always knew how to put a smile on my face and never failed to make me laugh. My papa taught me many valuable things and life lessons that I will always remember.

My papa was one of the strongest men I knew. My papa was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis in April 2015. When he first got sick, I didn’t really think much of it. I knew he would be fine. However, as days went on, he got worse and worse. The doctors told us there was no cure. In November, he started to go down hill fast. I kissed him when I left to go back to school from Christmas break and he told me, “I’ll see you soon."

Then I got the phone call on that Wednesday night in February, “Honey, Papa died tonight.” I broke down. After hearing that phone call, I knew that my life would be changed forever.

At first, I cried and cried because I couldn’t even believe what I just heard. Then I had a sense of anger and guilt. I started blaming myself for not calling him for the past couple of days or going home to see him. I then put on a mask in front of my family by not talking to them about what happened. I felt so cold.

Losing a grandparent changes your life. When a grandparent dies, they take a part of you, whether that part is big or small. Something is just missing.

Everyone copes with death differently, but the important part is realizing that moving on isn’t forgetting about the one you care so much about. It’s about realizing that it was their time and now it’s your time to be the person they would want you to be.

Losing my papa taught me many things. I realized how important family time actually is, how you should never take anything for granted, that you should always enjoy the little things, that some things will just always be out of my control and that memories are gold. Most importantly, you can’t change the past and you can’t always blame yourself when bad things happen.

Always cherish the memories you made with your loved one; I know I forever will. Remember to remind yourself what a great person that person was and think about the kind of person he/she would want you to be. Now it’s your time to teach the people you love all of the wonderful things your loved one taught you.

I will forever love and think about my papa, but I will never consider it a goodbye, just a “see you soon.”