Now, I don't know about you, but one thing I really hate, is when you no longer communicate with someone you thought was one of your best friends. You grew to be super close with this person and you shared all (or most) of your secrets. This person was always at your side and when you guys were apart, people generally asked where the other was. Then, one day, things went downhill and never made it back up.
Growing up, I always kept my circle of friends small. I would have my one or two best friends, whom I trusted with my life, and then I would have my normal friends, whom I shared a few secrets with but, nothing major. As I grew older and transitioned into high school, my two childhood BFFs no longer talked to me. Still angry with me for transferring schools for seventh and eighth grade, they never invited me to hangout anymore and they were able to easily replace me. So as I walked the halls as a high school freshman, I came across my first friend, a girl who I called my new best friend- that is until we fell apart during Senior year.
Senior year was the most painful for me. Not only did I lose my best friend of three years, but I lost my other close friend. Losing her was hard because we had a year of awesome, fun filled moments that were tossed aside. She was my wing man (or wing woman, lol). She was the one person who brightened my day as I walked from class to class. Between her jokes and her fun personality, she was the life of the party. But thanks to the drama that happened within our group of friends the beginning of senior year, I lost a dear friend. I know within a heartbeat, I would take her back as a best friend!
As the rest of senior year dragged on, I kept my distance from a friend of 6 years. I realized that friends aren't supposed to knock you down but, build you up. They make you a better version of you. This girl and I have been through a lot within the six years of friendship and as I look back on some things, I'm noticing that she never did anything to build me up. For one thing, she body shamed me (I'm a short, skinny, petite girl) and constantly explained to me that boys go after girls with more curves and told me that's why I would never get a boyfriend. Now that doesn't sound like a true friend, now does it?
The marvelous, one and only Taylor Swift even wrote a song about a friendship or relationship that took a wrong turn. "Bad Blood" was my anthem for this past year. It helped me realize that, one, I'm not the only person who had to deal with losing friends, two, that some people are not meant to be in your life and there's always a reason for that and, last but not least, three, that you can forgive and forget but you never let it go. I couldn't have said it any better than Taylor did in this song. Some things can't be patched up or fixed and frankly, that sucks. But, that's how life goes.
One thing I want to add before I wrap this up, is that friendship is a two way street. If one friend puts in effort, the other friend(s) is supposed to put in the same amount of effort. The friendship won't take off if effort is only coming from one side. The last thing I've learned, is that true friends will always make time to see you and hang out. They'll squeeze you in, even if it's only for a small period of time. No matter how busy, the truest of friends will be there for you.
Okay, so I think the hard part about losing a friend or multiple friends, is that you have to move on and start over with new people. But you also live with the guilt of thinking the whole thing was all your fault. Now you must remember one thing. Everyone comes in your life for a reason, just like everyone leaves your life for a reason.
