This summer I was blessed enough to go on a mission trip to Zambia and South Africa. While we were over there, I was able to preach a sermon to the village we were in. The base scripture was Philippians 3:7-8 “But what things were gain to me, these I counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ,” (NKJV). From this I explained to those listening that a life for Christ is about making the gospel your soul purpose in life. That everything that you say that matters is all secondary to knowing and spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was well received by my team and by the people of the village.

Fast-forward six months to this December. I am in my room wondering why I don’t feel the fulfillment of the gospel. Why do I feel like I am going through the motions and that Jesus is super far away? My girlfriend asks me if I have truly counted the cost of the gospel and for picking up the cross of Jesus Christ. Thoughts are racing through my head.

“Do I believe the people around me that are not saved can become saved?” “I don’t want to be considered that college student that’s super radical for Jesus.” “Am I really even a Christian?”

There was a crash and all of sudden it was 10:30 am, and I was late for church.

“Oh great, now the pastor’s son is going to be late to church,” I thought.

I tried to turn on worship music to get me in the mood for church. But I had to turn it on and off because I didn’t want to hear it. When I got in my car, I realized I didn’t have any gas and I tried to stupidly make it to church anyways. I got to North Little Rock before my car ran out of gas, and I was forced to wait for my friend to bring me gas. I decided I would open my bible. I didn’t know if it would help or not, but I went to read Philippians 3.

When I read this it all clicked. Paul, who was a citizen of the greatest and most powerful nation in the world, gave up being Roman and knowledgeable of the law to so that he could make Christ the center of his life. He knew that none of these things would bring him eternal life, the only thing that would was the Christ and that others needed to hear the good news. This is what I did not want when I got back from Africa. I was scared of the fact that I was going to lose the fire and the passion for lost souls. When did I stop believing that my purpose was for people to know Christ through my words and actions? When did I forget that every person I come in contact with there is the potential for him/her to become saved?

I was willing to retreat into my bubble of comfort, to try and live Christ out through actions but never be bold to proclaim the good news. All because I didn’t want people to associate me with being a religious freak. I wanted people to think that I was a cool Christian. I wanted to fit in with the world and still be down with God. But the word says you can’t serve two masters. It says that the light and darkness cannot exist together. The approval of this world doesn’t even matter.

I am tired of just having the answers, and I never live this thing out. My roommates, my friends, random strangers on the street they all need to have an encounter with Christ. Regardless of if I am mocked or ridiculed or rejected, the gospel of Christ is more important than anything. As I say this, I know it means nothing if I don’t believe. So as the disciples, said increase my faith because the world is waiting for the children of God to be revealed. I can’t just try to tell the people I know are willing to accept Jesus about him, that’s not what I am here for. I am here for the sick and the hungry and the lost, to be there for those who need something other than man. They need to see Jesus in my actions and hear Jesus in my words. If people know more about my family or my girlfriend, more than they do my savior have I really taken hold of the gospel.

So now comes the hard part, living it out. I need faith and I need boldness. Lecrae said in song “Don’t Waste Your Life”,

“To live is Christ and that's Paul I recall

To die is gain so for Christ we give it all

He's the treasure you'll never find in a mall

Your money your singleness marriage talent your time

They were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine”

My life can’t be wasted being afraid of what you might say. Jesus is worth my life and so much more.