I get it all the time. “What?! You’re twenty-seven?!” Their jaws actually drop. Like their top and bottom teeth fully separate and I can see most of their tongue. The first time it happened, I thought it was hilarious. I also thought they were just being nice. Then I realized they were serious, and I felt a mixture of concern and confusion. “Really?” I thought. “Why not? What could I possibly look like?”
“Why do you look like you just got out of high school?” one girl asked me. “Oh. I look like I just got out of high school. Ugh.” This from the same girl who often talked about her own age difference as a freshman because of her “gap year.” Gap. Not Gaps. Singular gap. I laughed and told her it was the Mary Kay. She actually shook her head like she didn’t believe me and said, “Well it’s a compliment.” and I unapologetically did not say “Thank you,” because I wasn’t sure it was a compliment.
It’s not a secret that I graduated from high school in 2008. It’s not a secret that I was born in 1990. I grew up playing with barbies, running around outside playing my neighborhood’s version of “Cops and Robbers”, and eating "Gushers" and "Flintstone Push-Ups" while watching “Aaahh!!! Real Monsters.” I’m a 90’s kid, through and through.
It’s not a secret that I wasn’t blessed with the knowledge of what I wanted to do with my life at eighteen years old. It’s not a secret that I changed my major 4 times before I found Dietetics, and subsequently West Chester University. It’s not a secret that I am still in school at twenty-seven. Yet it’s always a surprise to my classmates and professors when they learn it. “You don’t look twenty-seven! I mean that as a compliment!” After hearing it probably twenty-seven times, here’s what I can tell you:
1. It really is a compliment.
I started saying “Thank you.” because I realized they really do mean it as a compliment. What they are saying is that I am relevant, relatable, I don’t appear to be an outsider, and I’m living up to at least a minimum of their beauty standards. Youth is definitely still a beauty standard.
2. Anyone in the dating world should ask for ID.
because none of us can tell age just from looking anymore. You might see articles about this that tell you to look at their shoes or their neck to learn their age, but really this is different for everyone. Every age looks different on different people these day. Seriously, ask for ID. Learn their last name in the process.
3. Environment makes a difference.
I've been told I look anywhere from eighteen to twenty while at school, but up to thirty in other situations. Personally, I think it’s the deer-in-headlights look I always wear at school that must make me look so doe-eyed. Inexperience seems young. On the other hand, I've been at my full-time job for 4 years now, and I can answer any question, solve any problem, and do it without putting down my yogurt.
4. People are more afraid of aging than I knew.
I’ve seen it so many times; Their eyes scan my face, then my body and clothes, and I know they’re looking harder for any sign that I am old. They are looking for some sign of aging they can apply to themselves at my age.
5. I am not their idea of what they think they will be at twenty-seven;
Successful in a corporate job, not wearing on-trend make up or clothes, married with a kid, a homeowner, just not still in college. Whatever it is, I hope that I can be an example to them that their future will be whatever they want it to be, and that there’s no set age for accomplishment.
6. No one asks my age.
I always just volunteer it as a simple way to help them understand why the finer points of my life are so different from theirs. Ex. Why I must work full time. Why I commute from an hour away. Why I care so much about graduating next Spring. Why I can’t join a sorority, clubs or band. Why, besides my amazing significant other, I never look at anyone on campus with a romantic eye. Why I can't meet to study at night, ever. Why I can’t meet on the weekend, ever.
7. The differences are ultimately insignificant.
I still relate to my classmates. Finals, me too. Work stress, me too. So busy, me too. Hate parking, me too. Age hasn’t been a barrier to making friends. I've met some really amazing, well-rounded, kind, intelligent, world-wise people who can't legally drink yet.
